What's the ONE THING That Would Put You in the Dating Game?

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Everyone wants to be loved unconditionally. And that only makes sense. It is what God created us for. It is how He loves us. Marriage is a reflection of that love. The couple takes vows to love exactly that way. That is how the vows are written. For better or worse. Everyone longs for that kind of love from another human being.

First comes love, then comes marriage. How do you achieve the "love" part?

But you've got to get the date first. If you are single and looking but not finding...or if you are interested in dating this or that person but not getting interest in return...maybe you are wondering, "Is there something I can do differently that will put me in the dating game?"

The answer is probably yes. Does it mean you are not a worthwhile person? Not an attractive person? Not a good catch? No.

Someone can have a lot going for him or her, could be a perfectly nice person, an attractive person, a responsible person, could be a person who has lot to offer, and could have just one thing that is standing in the way. That one thing is like a weed wrapping itself around a healthy, beautiful, fruitful plant and all but obscuring it from view and from reaching its full potential. It prevents potential mates from getting to know the wonderful person that is so longing to be known. It's like a sign that says, "Don't date me."

There might only be ONE THING keeping you away from your spouse. And it is...

If you suspect that this may be you, keep reading. If you don't, then click away to an article about something else.  If it is you, you should know that your mom and dad probably know what is holding you back. Your brothers and sisters know too. Your friends, yup. They know too. Sometimes when you are not around they talk about it. "It's just that one thing!" they say. "Someone should say something. It might help." But who is going to tell you what it is?

Nobody. Nobody wants to hurt your feelings. Everyone figures that you are already bummed out enough about not meeting someone. Everyone knows it's a sore spot. Everyone wants to help. But no one wants to touch that sore spot. Even if it is something that is easily fixed.

Now and then a rude person may come along and boldly point it out. Your friends will shudder in horror and commiserate but they will also be hoping, secretly of course, that it will ultimately do some good. They want what is best for you. They know you are a great person and they wish you would just fix that one thing so you could find happiness.

What is that one thing? Oh no, I'm not going to post a list. It's different from person to person. That's the point of this post. No one is going to say it. That includes me. Ultimately, you have to figure it out yourself.

"How can I discover my one, biggest, annoying, flaw??"

First, pray about it. That is the beginning of every positive change that all of us must make. We all have things that hold us back from being the best version of ourselves. We have to ask God, who loves us unconditionally, to point out what is holding us back and then give us the courage to change it.

Second, focus on only one thing. We all have many faults. It's part of the human condition. Sometimes we get fed up with ourselves and we try to throw away our old selves all at once and start afresh with a completely new person.

Give that up. For one thing, it doesn't work. It just leads to despair. We are weak. Our bad habits were not built in a day; they cannot be broken in a day.

For another thing, it's just not accurate. God wouldn't love us unconditionally if we were not lovable. He would not redeem us if we weren't redeemable. He wouldn't save us, if we weren't worth saving. So please, don't let this be an occasion to hate yourself.

Just look at one thing, the main thing that is keeping dates away. Chances are it is also preventing you from loving yourself the way God wants you to. You know you are cheating yourself. You know you deserve better. That thing is stopping you. You will know what it is when you answer this question...

Ask yourself: "If I could magically change one thing about myself, what would it be?"

Don't think hard about it. Don't think about what you "should" answer. (We would all write—Be a saint!) Give yourself three seconds to answer. Give your gut answer.

Write it down. Make it official. Your goal is no longer some frustrating, serendipitous, out of your hands wish to "get married." It is, "Change this one thing that is fully within my power to change." Put that thing at the top of a blank piece of paper. On that same paper, now answer the following questions:

What is it going to take? What do I have to give up to make it happen? What do I have to start doing? Whom should I seek out to help me? Do I need professional assistance? How can I budget for that? Is it worth it to me? When can I start?

Now make plans.

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