Let God Love You Online

You should see him online:

I’m unusually handsome with a smile that’s hard to resist. I also make pretty good money. You can tell by the classic convertible in my profile pic. I’m 6’1 with an athletic build. I’m also humble. That’s why I chose Saint Humility as my favorite saint. I’m fluent in several tongues, including French, Spanish, and the Five Love Languages. I enjoy sports, reading the classics, and fine wine. I’m a good listener and I can make you laugh. That’s why me and everyone else in my selfies are always smiling. Because my life is fabulous.

You should see him in reality:

I try to smile, but I’m no George Clooney. I don’t have a fortune, but I work honestly for a living. I drive a Honda. I’m under 6 feet with an average build, though I do try to take care of my health. Foreign languages? I took a little French and Italian in college. Some days, I can barely speak English. I’m not a huge sports fan. I enjoy hiking, but I couldn’t tell you who won the Super Bowl this year. And I can’t tell the difference between a Chianti and a Merlot. I prefer an IPA. I am usually smiling in my selfies, though, because I want my life to appear fabulous.

We present our best selves online.

Don’t we all? Otherwise, what would people think of us? Why would they click on our profile? They want the best; that’s why we present our best selves online.

No wonder people are addicted to social media. Every time you create a new online profile, Twitter, or Instagram account, you get the chance to create a new you from scratch. A better you. You’re a clean slate, so you try to paint a masterpiece.

Here’s the catch: you already are a masterpiece, even with all your faults, because the Master made you.

That’s an easy (and kind of cheesy) thing to say, but harder to accept in real life. Everyone has flaws. We wish we were slimmer, more muscular, taller, shorter, smarter, or not so philosophical. I don’t know anyone who happily accepts themselves as they are 100 percent. But God does.

You are a masterpiece already—but not perfect yet.

To cite another arguably cheesy quote: God loves us just as we are, but He loves us too much to let us stay that way. It’s true that God wants us to improve ourselves, disfigured as we are by sin. But that doesn’t mean being sexier, richer, or more successful. It means working on our shortcomings and becoming more conformed to His image. And He took the first step by conforming to ours.

God thought so highly of us that He became one of us. Think of it. He was God, the original perfect person. But He chose to take on flesh, incarnating Himself into a human body, subjecting himself to the judgments and criticisms of others. Surely, there were people who thought Jesus should have been more handsome, more wealthy, more socially adjusted, more this or that. But He apparently didn’t care what they thought. And He became one of us so we could become like Him.

The most important value in life is letting yourself be loved by God.

Social media is inherently un-incarnational. It puts a digital—and literal—barrier between us and other people. I think that’s why sometimes we’re tempted to say stuff to others on social media that we’d never say to them if they were standing right in front of us. That’s why flame wars get started so easily. And why we all look so fabulous online.

But, as Andrew Greer and Randy Cox write in their book Winds of Heaven, Stuff of Earth: “Suppose you came to the conviction of the Holy Spirit that the most important value in life was letting yourself be loved by God? Talk about a radical transformation, a total absence of low self-esteem.”

That’s what it comes down to, I think: letting ourselves be loved by God. As Christians, we know the Bible says in 1 John 4:8 that “God is love." 

How to let God love us, practically speaking

So we say we believe that God loves us. But do we really believe it? If we did, we’d let Him love us. That requires accepting that we’re not perfect, we’re flawed and selfish and not enough, but He loves us anyway. He loves us not in spite of our faults, but with them. He accepts the whole package.

I wonder if, when we’re creating our social media profiles, God sometimes laughs…or weeps. We can’t get anything past Him.

I’m not saying we should be abnormally open on social media. We don’t have to explain all our baggage or look glum all the time. I’m much more likely to click on someone’s CatholicMatch profile if she’s smiling. Sure, we should put our best foot forward. But we should also know that we don’t have to present a false self to people in order for them to accept us. If someone sees your profile and they don’t respond to it, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. There are a thousand reasons someone may or may not respond to an online profile.

I think what we have to do is learn to let ourselves be loved by God. To not just believe it academically, but try to feel it experientially. The cool thing is, when we let God love us, we start to love ourselves more. And when we love ourselves, we’re more attractive to others, which opens all new possibilities for love.

Let’s try to be the best versions of ourselves online, but also be honest. When we inevitably get to know someone in person, we’re not going to be able to fool them for long anyway. And we’re never going to fool God, who loves us like He made us. Let us let Him love us.