10 Signs You Are Taking Yourself Too Seriously

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In my neck of the woods this summer, it rained cats and dogs for almost a week straight and I was experiencing a bit of cabin fever. When the sun finally came out, I grabbed my 11-year-old son's mountain bike to go for a ride and get some exercise. I put my shades on and looking cool, I plugged my earphones in to my favorite Pandora 80s station. My own private Idaho. I'm huffing and puffing as I'm spinning and "Holiday" by Madonna comes on. Unfortunately for me, I have a momentary lapse of reason and forget that people can hear me as I sing "Holiday... It would be so nice!" The lady walking her dog on the other side of the street laughed so hard she had to cover her mouth. Lesson: I can't take myself too seriously.

Isn't this a temptation we all have? No, not to embarrass ourselves in public, but to take ourselves too seriously? It seems to be a basic human flaw... we sometimes can become so wrapped up in our own little worlds and we need a jolt of reality to bring us back. Oftentimes, that jolt comes in the form of some unpleasant event, such as a neighbor laughing at your very out of tune rendition of a song or even worse, losing a friendship or dating relationship because you are so involved with your own affairs you can't see anything but yourself. If your goal is to have a lasting and happy relationship, this won't be very helpful to your cause, so, it's great to periodically do a checkup. Here are ten indicators you are taking yourself too seriously:

1. You can't easily laugh at yourself.

2. You are too defensive.

3. You have a difficult time admitting you are wrong.

4. You always have to have the last word.

5. It is important to you to point out others' faults.

6. You interrupt someone who is speaking to make sure your views are heard.

7. You get upset and withdraw from the conversation when someone teases you.

8. If someone politely declines spending time with you, you spend the next two weeks trying to figure out what's wrong with you instead of believing the reason why he or she declined.

9. You rarely give compliments to others.

10. You feel like no one understands you.

Keeping in mind that no one is perfect and all of us could use some attitude adjustments from time to time, you might want to think about making some changes if you recognize yourself in two or more of these factors. After all, finding a permanent and lasting relationship is tough enough without complicating it even further by taking yourself too seriously. If you do recognize these factors in yourself and the way you communicate with others, a good way to counteract them is to map out some practical steps you can work on each day.

For example, if you find it difficult to laugh at yourself, remember the words of the very wise (and funny) Father James Martin who wrote "humor is attractive."

What about the habit of pointing out other people's faults? Interestingly enough, many people don't realize this is a habit they have. Sometimes, it is an indication of insecurity or low self-esteem. No matter what the reason, an easy way to curb this type of behavior is to practice giving out compliments. This doesn't come easily to some, but making a habit of giving sincere compliments has a two-fold effect; it makes the person you are complimenting feel good because their talent or good deed or personal good looks were noticed by you and it makes you feel good because doing something nice for others does that.

If you recognize any of these points in yourself, the best way to counteract these obstacles to happier relationships is to identify the opposite action and practice that one. You can also pray the Litany of Humility, which I have personally found an effective way to work on the virtue of humility.

I always welcome your email comments and suggestions at asklisa@catholicmatch.com. If you have a specific prayer intention you can submit it at LisaDuffy.Com and I will offer my daily Rosary for you.

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