What Are You Afraid Of?
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Just Do It.
In 1988, Nike launched their Just Do It slogan. I seriously doubt that you (or anyone else) doesn't recognize this slogan because it is universally known within the fitness industry and beyond. But, where did this saying come from?
Was this catch line a mantra from a famous athlete who uttered it before every sporting event? No. Nike credits the origin of this well known phrase to a hardened criminal named Gary Gilmore. Mr. Gilmore spoke the words, let's do it when asked if he had anything to say just moments before his execution by a firing squad in 1977. (Obviously, Nike altered the saying ever so slightly.) Those watching the execution say that Mr. Gilmore spoke the phrase and then, without flinching, died.
Yes, this is a morbid tale. Yet, the intent of the phrase is consistent to the sentiment of Mr. Gilmore—don't flinch. Face the difficulty. Confront the uncomfortable. Deal with the pain.
There is certain wisdom in this slogan. Life is hard. It can be unpleasant. It is easy to become fearful and anxious about life's hardships. That's why our being wants to flinch in the face of perceived danger. It wants to protect itself from the pending harm.
Think of the times that you were challenged to do something that you had never done before, or that you knew you couldn't do well. The instinctual response is to decline the challenge and preserve oneself physically, emotionally, or both. The easy action is to step (or run) away from the perceived threat to your well-being.
But is it really a matter of life and death?
What Nike wanted to promote by this infamous phrase is that many challenges in life should be confronted rather than avoided, because our better self can only emerge if we engage in the struggle. A recent conversation with a young woman illustrates this point.
This attractive and accomplished woman explained to me that she has tried every Christian dating app invented and is still hopelessly single. Each app matched her with several men who all seemed interesting. Yet, after a few exchanges with each potential suitor, she found herself backing away and ending the interaction.
I asked her why didn't she take any of the exchanges to a deeper level? What motivated her to suspend further relational development? She provided a litany of reasons: he was in the wrong profession; he wasn't in the right part of the country; he was too young or too old; he was too Catholic or too Christian...
When I asked her what she was afraid of, she looked down and softly said, "I just want someone who will love me as I am. All of these guys are just too good for me. I am afraid that once we meet and actually engage, he will walk away from me. That rejection scares me to death."
The possibility of a bruised ego or a broken heart can be viewed as a perceived threat. It can cause us to flinch. We all get that. But, neither of these is really life threatening. Yes, they are difficult. Yes, they might be awkward. Yes, they can hurt. But neither will actually cause death.
No risk, no reward.
The reality is that in facing the challenge, you might actually experience greater joy. Taking a relational risk might expand your life, rather than end it. Facing the perceived peril might lead to the love that God intends for you.
That's why I told her to do what Nike recommends; Just Do It. Take a leap of faith and interact one step beyond your last match experience. Reveal a bit more of yourself. Ask a deeper question. Push a bit farther. Most of all—don't flinch.
How can you prepare yourself (or someone else) to be less fearful when entering a relationship?
- Go deeper in an established friendship. Talk at a deeper level with someone who knows you fairly well. Explore tough topics with them.
- Laugh when you make mistakes instead of chastising yourself.
- Do something hard but not harmful. Take cold showers. Do math problems that make your brain hurt. Read a book with vocabulary well above your pay grade.
- Seek divine assistance from your favorite Saint. Ask friends or family members to pray that God improves your self-worth.
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