Be a Better Man—Try Exodus 90
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Sometimes a phone call changes your life for the better.
Little did Timmy McCaffery know that a random phone conversation back in October would plunge him into 90 days of intensive, transformative prayer and fasting culminating during the March for Life in January.
It all started when Ryan Foley, a friend McCaffery had contacted about something else, happened to mention his own experience with the program known as Exodus 90 and what it was doing for him. Foley, vice president for business development at the internet accountability firm Covenant Eyes, had begun Exodus 90 on September 21, and already was seeing benefits that appealed to McCaffery.
Within a few weeks, the director of youth and young adult ministry for the Archdiocese of New Orleans was beginning his own Exodus 90 journey, committing himself to a daily holy hour, restricting Internet usage to essential tasks and fasting from alcohol, sweets, between-meal snacks, TV and even hot showers.
The worst of it for the 35-year-old husband and father of five was not being able to eat between meals and having to take cool showers during a cold snap in New Orleans. The easiest was abstaining from TV.
But because Exodus 90 offers a wide swath of disciplines, McCaffery said every man who signs up for it is sure to find something that will be tough for him. “And, it depends on where you live.” For example, he said, for many men in New Orleans, giving up televised sports in the middle of Saints season would be a substantial sacrifice.
Exodus 90 was created by a priest in 2013 for seminarians who, having grown up in a society enslaved to sin, wanted to achieve more perfect personal freedom as they prepared to serve the Church.
The program later was expanded to include bishops, priests and laymen. Since then, thousands of men—60% of them between the ages of 20 and 39—have committed to the 90-day journey.
McCaffery said he thinks younger men are being drawn to completing the 90 days of prayer and asceticism because they see it as a mission and more than a two-week body cleanse or one-month workout plan. “This is a solid quarter of a year journey.”
Additionally, he said Exodus 90’s provision that men go through the program with a “fraternity” of other men so that they can meet regularly for mutual encouragement appeals to young men.
“I think guys are intrigued with the concept of brotherhood. Walking with other men and having the resource of other men with them is something society is not offering them. They’re told they need to be on their own, do it alone and be good enough for that to work. And every single guy who’s heard that knows it fails.”
Although some men sign up for Exodus 90 with the idea of cutting back on drinking or quitting pornography use, McCaffery said he had other disciplines in mind when he took up the challenge.
Foley had told him cutting out things that had become a normal part of his day made him more efficient and a better manager of his time. “When he left work, he was leaving work at work, not bringing those things home,” McCaffery said. “Home time was home time. Prayer time was prayer time. He was more intentionally able to devote himself to what he was doing as opposed to getting distracted.”
Before Exodus 90, McCaffery said he had been going to work early, leaving late and still working at home, not spending as much time as he would have liked with his wife and kids. “When [Foley] started talking about being more intentional about time at home, I said, ‘Yes, that’s what I need.’”
McCaffery completed Exodus 90 while he was accompanying 600 young people from the Archdiocese of New Orleans to the March for Life in Washington, where he had his first warm shower in 90 days in a hotel.
Since then, he said, the experience has borne lasting fruit in both time management and prayer.
Exodus 90 works, he added, because a three-month commitment to making changes is a pretty long time.
“It’s a double Lent,” he said. “Because of that, it’s easier to have the changes remain permanent . . . I have tried over time to make my use of time more efficient, and my prayer more clear, but the 90 days have helped cement those changes.”
The benefits have convinced McCaffery that Exodus 90 is worth repeating and he hopes to make it an extension of his Lenten observance next year by beginning it 50 days before Ash Wednesday.
His enthusiasm for the program has led him to successfully enlist other men in making Exodus 90, but he credits Foley with being the catalyst. “You realize the fruit and power that can come from one guy reaching out to another guy. He reached out to me in a random conversation just because he was going through it and it was bearing fruit. That led to me and a buddy doing it and we sent emails to thousands across the Archdiocese. It shows the power one man can have on the guys around him.”
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