A Few (More) Reasons You Might Still Be Single

Are you the reason you are still single?  In my last article, we discussed the first four reasons why some people are still alone. You can read that article here.

Reason #5: Not leaving your comfort zone

The #5 reason you may still be single is that you are not willing to get outside your comfort zone. You won’t make the sacrifice, won’t venture outside your small little box, and you won’t go to where the people are.

Perhaps the problem is that you work all the time and are tired. So, you stay home and watch TV. You do not “feel like going out.” Whether its spending too much time with personal hobbies, binge watching Netflix on TV, playing too many video games, or whether you have just had a long week; staying home too much will not find you a date or help you to get married.

You want to meet people? Then go where they are! If there is a great Catholic event that many people are attending, but you’re “too tired to go out,” then you are missing out on a tremendous opportunity to meet people. Finding someone takes work, and you have to be willing to make the sacrifice.

Reason #6: You are a workaholic

I recently saw the movie, “The Dating Project.” In it, one particular woman had such a strong urge to get married, have kids, and raise a family, yet she could not find anyone. Of course, the real truth came out when she was being interviewed. This woman had made her career (which she loved) her whole life. She sunk herself into her job to the point where she did not even realize that she was cutting herself off from countless opportunities to meet people. This is a huge issue today.

How about you? Is your job or career keeping you from finding that special someone? Is it causing you too much undue stress which in turn causes you to be too tired to socialize? Could this be the reason you are still single?

If so, what changes need to be made for your future? Take a step back and look at the tree from a mountain top view and not with your nose pressed up against it.

Reason #7: You are not called to marriage

Some people try so hard to find somebody, and it hasn’t worked out yet. The problem could be twofold. If you are doing everything you can and have turned up empty, then it is probably just not time yet. Or, perhaps God is calling you to religious life—to be a priest or a nun. This is something everybody has to consider.

Many may run from it or fear it, but if you feel a call or tug in your heart, then you owe it to God to at least check it out. God’s path in life will make you happy and holy, whereas our own paths will not. Consider it. Pray about it, and make sure to check out the last major reason people are still single.

#8 Reason: You won’t change!

Under this reason, there are two causes that keep people single.

1. You're too picky

The first reason is that you may be too picky. You’re standards list (which should be high) may be something only the Blessed Virgin Mary or St. Joseph could fill. These types do not exist though. Of course, we shouldn't compromise, but conversely, the “type” of person we desire might be too narrow.

It's already difficult to find good Catholics nowadays much less ones we are compatible with. So, expanding our horizons is a good things. While looks and attraction are certainly important, I would recommend going out on a date even if they are not smoking hot or are less attractive. We don’t have to marry Miss America.

A person being Catholic, trustworthy, virtuous, mature, and having the ability to communicate is far more important than someone who is strong, sporty, hot, or other shallow things. These might be bonuses, but they not what makes a happy marriage.

Many years ago, I desired a blonde-hair, big blue-eyed sporty soccer player who was fit and really fun to hang with. Apparently, God knew better because I ended up with a someone who was short, had brown hair, hazel eyes, and was an artist. Yet, we have been married happily now for 11 years.

If I had held fast to a particular type as some do and did not consider other people, I may not be married today, or, I probably would have been miserable. God knew more what I needed to be happy and holy. I have a woman who is smart, artistic, savvy, fun, and someone who can salsa dance like a pro.

At one time, my standards were so high that only the Virgin Mary could meet them. Thankfully, someone called me out on it, and I changed. Is this you?

The bottom line is we don’t know what we want most times, but God does. So open up, expand, adapt, and enjoy meeting new people you may have not considered before.

2. “I’m not the problem"

The second reason under this heading is the refusal to change or grow. We all have issues, every one of us. Some unfortunately have major issues and destructive personality traits. So, what are your shortcomings and issues? What are your quirky or destructive personality traits? Are they keeping you from finding or keeping a significant other?

We need to reflect on our lives and make changes constantly. It is a life-long process. Often times we justify our own actions and faults instead of working on them. Some of us are quick to give excuses:

“That’s just how I am.”

“I’m a man; I have those needs.”

“I’m Italian, so I have a bad temper.”

“I don’t need to change, if you don’t like it, then too bad.”

These are shallow copouts and excuses that are going to seriously harm your future. Our personal unresolved and undealt-with issues are one of the most common reasons people remain single. It is not optional; we must do a good deal of self-reflection and observation, looking at those aspects of our life that need to change and are hurting our relationships.

So, look at your life. Make goals and set to work on them. And if you need, read books, get counseling, or find help. The best this is that this hard work will only create a better, more happy marriage for your future. If you put it off, don’t think you need to change, or blame others, the fault is remains yours alone. Don’t be single forever. Do the work love demands!

May God bless you and help you to find that person who is perfectly fit for you!

If you would like to see the whole video I recorded on this topic, check out my YouTube video here.