Stop Believing These 7 Myths About Being Single

A myth is just a myth. Well, that is—until you start to believe it's true!

And that’s what happened to me years ago when I started to be convinced that being single means never being happy. I believed then that I could only be happy when I found the perfect guy (whoever that may be). 

But the more I believed that myth, the lonelier I became. And being lonely created a vicious cycle for me because my attitude turned people away. 

If you’re like me, I beg you to stop listening to the myths about being single. Stop being influenced by what others think and start living your life by claiming the valuable opportunities given you. Make the most of what you have today rather than cry over those things you think you do not have.

It’s time to stop believing these 7 myths about being single:

1.  Single people have no sense of responsibility

This is just unfair. Just because single people aren’t raising a family of their own, they’re already seen as having no sense of responsibility. 

Don’t let it stick with you. You know the kind of responsibilities you have fulfilled so far. To be responsible is to fulfill your duty. It can mean being a responsible worker or citizen. It can also mean taking care of your parents or younger siblings. 

Other people may not know, but you have to credit yourself for being there for the people who needed you. Think of the friends you have helped so far. Or look back at all those times you’ve volunteered for social work. Don’t lose your confidence by being tagged by people who hardly know you.

2.  You’ll never be complete until you find your partner in life

Now this one is a view that has been made very popular in the movies. Can you still remember those characters who professed their love by saying they were never complete without their partners? 

This line of thinking is very harmful because it can let you think you’ll never be a “whole” person without somebody else. While we do need other people, it doesn’t mean you’re not a complete person without your partner. 

Marriage is about two people who profess their love and commitment to each other. Remember the important words here and keep in mind that it’s about “two people”, whole people with a whole life of their own even before they met each other. How could you give your whole self if all you have is an incomplete version of a human being?

3.  To be single is to be a selfish person

I have read it a few times: how others scoff at single people for being selfish. Some people automatically think that you’re too preoccupied with yourself to think about having other people in your life. They think you just can’t let go of your freedom and all the things you could comfortably do as a single person. Some may even say you’re not marrying anyone because you find it too difficult to sacrifice some things for the family you could have. 

Don’t let this affect you. I know so many single people who are so selfless they almost forgot to look after themselves for the sake of someone else. Many have been fully devoted to their families. Some are devoted to a cause they believe in. Being single is never the same as being a selfish person!

4.  You have unreasonably high standards

I honestly don’t know what to feel whenever someone mentions I must have unreasonably high standards in choosing a date (or a partner in life). Should I feel honored because I seem to have the right to demand such strict standards? Or should I feel embarrassed because I seem to be expecting an illusion that would never come my way?

You don’t refuse a date just because they’re not “perfect people” (who in the world is?). You refuse some people because they don’t have the values and traits that could match yours. To choose just anybody is to set yourself up and your date for disappointment later on. It wouldn’t be fair for both of you. 

5.  Single people live boring lives

If there’s one word that affects me each time, this must be it: boring! While I haven’t heard anyone directly saying it to me, I’ve felt it a number of times. 

There seems to be a myth that single people are living very boring lives. Other people just couldn’t imagine how your life can also be fun and filled with interesting activities. 

But is it impossible to live an active and enjoyable life if you’re still single? Of course not! I’ve done many exciting things even without a partner in life. Friends and family have been with me while doing so many unforgettable activities. I’ve been to so many beautiful places that made me appreciate my life more. 

I also have a rich inner life. I love reading books and I have a vivid imagination. I may be single, but I do not live a boring life.

6.  There must be something wrong with you

Other people seem to see single people like a puzzle to be solved. If they can’t find anything in your life that seems to hinder you from being married, they can just conclude that the fault must be yours. 

You may not be attractive or good-looking enough. You have bad habits. Or you may not have a good personality. Some may even tag you as the clingy or jealous type of person when in a relationship.

All these assumptions are so damaging. I don’t know if there is anything more demeaning than this myth. 

Trying to find a life partner is an important process of choosing someone with whom you can start a family. You’re not there to compete with anyone, but to build a life with someone you trust. Not finding that person yet doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you.

7.  A single life lacks purpose and meaning

There is a myth that you can only start fulfilling your purpose in life once you get married. Before this, your life as a single person lacks not only proper direction but meaning.

While marrying and starting a family is a very significant vocation, that doesn’t mean other people can’t live meaningful lives by being single.

I know so many single people who have studied hard to help support their families. Many assist the church and become models of virtue and charity. They treat other people like their own children and help them grow spiritually. Some take care of sick or elderly people, devoting their time and compassion to those who need it most.

Jesus Himself was a single person who helped those in need and offered His very life for all. His life never lacked purpose or meaning.

Dispelling the myths about being single.

Hearing these myths about being single is often more burdensome than going through the challenges of single life. Not only do they affect the way people treat us, but they can also influence how we see ourselves.

While you have no obligation to prove yourself to others, make sure that you don’t let those myths have power over you. You should know who you are and what you have. You don’t have to wait until you’re married to use the gifts God has given you. 

Live your life knowing that God has a plan for you, and each day can be meaningful and full of love. Look forward to that time when you can start your own family. But never lose your joy for all the days in between. You are a whole person who has so much to offer the world. Shine as brightly as you can wherever you may be.