What To Do When Your Friends Don't Like Who You're Dating

So, your friends don’t like who you’re dating. And your date feels the same way about your friends! What do you do?

In an ideal situation, your friends would be thrilled when they meet your date

They may ask questions, and throw a few jokes, but, in the end, you know that they like that special someone in your life. 

In the same way, while your date may feel uneasy at the start, he or she would soon spark a conversation with your buddies and they would start hanging out as though they have been friends all these years. What a happy ending, right?

In real life, however, things don’t always happen the way we want them to

In real life, your date may feel uncomfortable to hang out with your friends for a long time. And your friends may find it hard to trust that one special person you truly like!

What do we do when this messy situation ever happens to us? Here are some of the things you can do when either your friends or your date just don’t seem to like the other.

Ask for the reason why

Have a heart-to-heart talk with your friends. Ask them why they can’t seem to like your significant other. Do they see something in him or her that could be possible red flags in your relationship? Could they be sensing something you’re not seeing? 

It could also be as simple as living in different worlds. Could they be seeing you as exact opposites of each other? Or are you introducing a date coming from a different culture?

Meanwhile, you also need to ask your date why he or she can’t seem to get along with your friends. Could it be that your date is just sensing your friends’ mutual dislike? 

And if your friends can somehow tell who won’t be a good fit for you, could it be that your date can also see that you’re not in good company? Have all your friends been good influences in your life so far?

Validate the true source

While it is very helpful to ask your partner and your friends directly, there are other things they may still be keeping from you for fear of offending your feelings.

Your friends may be seeing some traces of your exes in your current date and they’re afraid you’d be hurt again. Or perhaps they are just not seeing your date exerting enough effort to get to know them!

On the other hand, your date may just be intimated with encountering your friends for the first time. Or they could actually be an introvert who feels uncomfortable with socializing with a lot of people. Could your date feel more at ease with a friend or two rather than hanging out with the whole gang?

Explore possible jealousy

Even if your date and your friends are playing different roles in your life, that doesn’t mean there won’t be any feelings of jealousy between them.

Your friends could feel threatened that your date would take you away from them and they could not hang out as often with you anymore.

This jealousy can be more intense if you introduced your date to your best friend. Your best friend could feel that someone else is now taking his or her place in your life. 

On the part of your significant other, try to explore where this jealousy could be coming from. Is your date the possessive type who doesn’t want to share you with anyone else? This could be a possible red flag in your relationship.

Meanwhile, your special someone could just be feeling a bit insecure at the start. Your date may see that you and your friends share a deep history together. As such, there is a fear that one may not live up to your expectations nor have enough common grounds to share with you.

Are there major issues?

After finding out the real reasons, it would be best to address any major issues that you discovered. It may be time to reassess both your relationship with your friends as well as with the new person you’re welcoming into your life. 

It would be wise to open your eyes to possible signs of incompatibilities or precursors to an unhealthy relationship. You don’t want to be married to a controlling person who would isolate you from your family and friends.

On the other hand, you may be hanging out with the wrong group of people instead of those who would sincerely support you and want your happiness. In that case, it may be time to start building a new circle of friends.

If there are no major concerns. . .

you can do the following:

Find common interests

The truth is that your date and your friends already like one thing in common, and that is you!

Since they both love you, it is very possible that they also have other common interests. Try to look for common hobbies that can help them spend more time together.

Explain each other’s side

If you can explain it well, try to tell them the other one’s point of view. Let them know that you appreciate having people who care for you and you truly want them to get along.

It’s very natural for some misunderstandings to arise in the early part of your relationship. Remember that you are still giving them the chance to know each other. As they gradually start seeing where the other one is coming from, it would be easier for them to click and maybe even become good friends, too!

Reassure them both

Give your friends, (or your jealous best friend) an assurance that you won’t be leaving them. Although your time together may not be as long as before, let them know you will keep in touch and still be a part of their lives. After all, a friend should love at all times, right?

On the part of your date, let your special someone know that they don't need to compete with your friends. You saw something good and beautiful in him or her and you are determined to stand up and to do what you can to protect your relationship.

Give them time

Don’t force them to make up and immediately like each other. Give them time. Let each relationship unfold naturally as it should.

Respect their feelings for now but take every opportunity for them to get to know each other. Who knows? It may not take too long for them to become close friends. 

Final thoughts

Some people get along quickly, and some relationships take time to build and bear fruit. It may take longer, but that doesn’t mean it won't be deep and meaningful.

As you and your date navigate this crucial time to engage with the people who matter most to you, gather every fruit that can help your relationship grow. Don’t force things to happen before their time, but don’t give up either!

Through perseverance, understanding, and patience seasoned with love, you can keep the people who make your life beautiful and worth living.