5 Signs You're Dating a Good Guy

I never believed that some cosmic event would lead me to “the one.”  I spent too many days dating “the wrong type of guy” to be convinced that the “right type of guy” would show up—flowers in hand, perfect in every way, ready to sweep me off my feet. Perhaps our dating culture jaded me a bit. It often felt impossible to maintain high standards while dating without ending up constantly alone!

Though there’s no such thing as the “perfect” man, there are great ones out there! How can you tell if the guy you are dating is a good one?

It took me a long time to realize that the signs are undeniable. To ensure that you are dating a good man, consider the following:

1. A good man seeks your good.

While dating, I never measured the importance of a guy actively seeking my good. Dating felt more like a chase to me—like I had to prove my worth in order to be loved! I overlooked it when the guys I was dating weren’t fully invested in me, were unwilling to meet certain moral standards, or cared primarily about themselves.

It wasn’t until I met someone that was fully invested in me that I understood the difference. Right away I knew he was different because he showed up for me. He cared about my life and my values, and he wasn’t just in it for himself.

Ask yourself: Does the guy I am with care about my interests? Does he always treat me with respect, never trying to use, pressure, guilt, belittle, or take from me? Does he seek to know and care for those who are closest to me, understanding that they value my happiness? Does he uplift me, always supporting me for my own good?

2. It’s clear where you stand with him.

I can’t tell you how many undefined relationships I allowed myself to be in over the years. (None of those relationships brought me the security and assurance I longed for in love.) The dating culture tells us to reject “labels,” but at some point, defining your relationship is necessary! If you’re serious with someone, you should never be wondering about the status of your relationship or level of commitment your guy has for you.

Ask yourself: Does the man I’m with shy away from commitment and from having hard conversations? Is he clear about our relationship and fully invested? Does he communicate well with me, verbalize when he’s upset, explain himself and apologize when he hurts me? Is he sensitive to my feelings and forthright about our relationship?

3. He’s willing to make sacrifices for you.

I didn’t know what it meant to be truly loved until I met a man who was willing to make sacrifices for me. Though most of the guys I dated said they respected my beliefs and morals, it was rare that they weren’t also challenging me to conform to their standards at the same time.

When it comes to moral integrity, don’t be afraid to set your standards high! Never sacrifice what’s important to you for someone else. Oftentimes we’re afraid of fighting for moral truth because we’re scared of missing out or ending up alone. (That’s a lie that our culture perpetuates.) Caving to certain pressures or conforming to meet the standards of another will not bring you the authentic love you were created for. Set your moral standards high, make them clear, and don’t question if you’re making the right decision. If Christ is your standard, a good man will not only respect you for it, but will be striving to imitate Him in His love for you.

Ask yourself: Is the guy I’m dating willing to make sacrifices for me? Does he honor and value my integrity and worth?

4. He prioritizes faith.

Not every man you date will have a rich faith life, be going to Church, or have a strong relationship with the Lord (if at all). However, a good man will support you in your faith and will be open to talking about it, no matter his background. Preferably, he will strive to grow in faith with you. Ideally, he will have a strong faith, and be the one uplifting you.

Ask yourself: Does the guy I am dating draw me away from the Church and from Christ? Does he belittle me for my beliefs or compromise my relationship with the Lord in any way? Does he support me in my faith, and is he open to talking with me about it?

5. Your relationship is going somewhere.

Over the years, I dated so many guys who ran for the hills if I pressed for even a hint of seriousness about the future of our relationship. Though you shouldn’t rush into a serious relationship with someone right away —you should at least know that the man you’re seeing has some intention about the future of your relationship together.

Ask yourself: Is the man I’m dating completely closed off to marriage? Does he look forward to our future together?

Remember, finding love isn’t about finding the “perfect” person, but you should be looking for goodness in a man. Be willing to look for these indisputable signs that come with dating a good man!