Men and Women Need to Grow in Respect For Each Other
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Men and women need to stop being in competition with each other.
The Bible tells us, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free person, there is not male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28).
This quote from Saint Paul teaches us that men and women should treat each other with equality and fairness, while also respecting the gender roles that God has created for each of us. And yet, despite what God tells us about the equality of all mankind, we are constantly bombarded with rhetoric that pits men and women against each other.
Perhaps the problem is that we have mistaken the word equality to mean homogeneity; two objects can have the same innate value while outwardly presenting drastically different characteristics. Although men and women are not a separate species from each other, both sexes present distinct biological traits, innate behaviors, and emotional and physical needs.
God created men and women with unique characteristics in order for us to complement each other, not to be identical, and certainly not to be at war with each other.
All people carry past hurts and baggage with them.
Rather than harboring resentment towards the opposite sex due to past experiences, we must meditate on what can be learned from our experiences. Through introspection and prayer, we can equip ourselves to learn from past mistakes and do better next time.
Women:
Do not foster a distrust for men in general due to societal pressure or past experiences. Approach men with an open-minded yet cautious trust that they have good intentions.
Also, do not feel entitled to finding the “perfect” man; be prepared to accept a flawed person as a potential partner. This does not mean that you should completely overlook red flags or accept bad behavior in dating. But you also should not set your expectations too high. We would all love to marry a man with Mr. Roger’s heart, Liam Hemsworth’s body, and Elon Musk’s entrepreneurial spirit… unfortunately, that man probably does not exist.
Setting realistic expectations and finding a man who shares your faith and values will be much more fulfilling than finding a man who fulfills a checklist of superficial requirements. Some ways to do this are by avoiding the hookup culture, setting high standards for your own behavior, and engaging in faith formation activities.
Once you do find a partner who shares your faith, I highly recommend reading Fr. Thomas Morrow’s book Christian Courtship in An Oversexed World: A Guide for Catholics.
Men:
In this secular, post-modern feminist world, the feelings and egos of men are overlooked in the dating game. Most of society casts single men into two roles: villains who do not respect women and feel entitled to their bodies, or desperate men who are involuntarily celibate.
These are both lies! Do not allow the modern culture to make you become jaded by dating. Be like our Lord; when he was rejected by the crowd at Nazareth, “But he passed through the midst of them and went away.” (Luke 4:30).
In the face of endless criticism, you must remain strong in your faith and sense of self-worth. You do not need to apologize for being a single man; if you want to give a woman a compliment, do so! Don’t be afraid to be direct. Of course, you need to balance your directness with modesty; you can date zealously without behaving entitled or imprudent towards others.
Remember that birds of a feather flock together, and if you are presenting the best version of yourself to the world, you will attract women who want the same things as you.
Here is a prayer to recite as you continue on your journey to finding a Catholic spouse:
Dear Lord, I sometimes become lonely. Teach me your ways, Lord, to be content in the fullness of YOUR presence.
Teach me, O Lord, to trust that it is within this very single season you will strip me of all my unrighteousness, Heal my doubtful mind that I will learn to fully understand and feel what it means to be a virtuous woman or man of great character.
This is the day the Lord has made and I shall rejoice in it. My Spirit is open to receive. My mind is focused on the word of God. I am a conqueror in Christ my Lord. My trust and hope is in God. I only have to ask to receive it. Therefore I will wait upon the Lord with the assurance that it is FINISHED. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
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