The Struggles of Going Through a Divorce While Young

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After my divorce, there was no shortage of trying days in the immediate aftermath.

It was Good Friday of 2016.

As the youth minister of the parish, I was around helping with various tasks related to all the different liturgies that take place during the Triduum.

One my favorite parishioners, a sweet older woman named Joan came up to me. With kindness in her eyes, she asked me, Patty are you okay? Where is that handsome husband of yours? I see something in your eyes and I just wonderare you okay?

I had to take a deep breath to choke back the tears which started to bubble up in my throat.

I reached out to give her a hug and softly whispered in her ear, Well Joan, I am not married anymore to him. We got a divorce and I am just navigating life in a different way right now.

She gave me the biggest bear hug, and I was reminded why Iwas so glad to call Joan “my church work grandma.”

Going through a divorce at any age is hard and difficult. I do not think people who find themselves in that situation ever dream or imagine it could happen to them.

I got married at twenty-six and by the time I was thirty, I was divorced.

What are some of the frustrating struggles of going through a divorce at a younger age and stage of life?

I think the answers to a question like this can be varied andunique to people’s own personal experience and story.

For me, several things were especially difficult aboutnavigating divorce as a young Catholic woman.

Maybe some of these feel familiar to you too. On the otherhand, perhaps yours are a little bit different from mine.

No matter the struggles you bump into as a young person navigating a divorce, do this one thing...

Surround yourself with bearers of hope.

Fill your life up with people who will carry hope for you: about your future, the dreams you have for your life, etc. Ask family members and close friends to be your torchbearer of hope—to remind you on those messy, sad days that good things are coming. God has not forgotten or abandoned you.

Ask them to carry and hold on to hope for you when it feels impossible to believe.

Those people can gently speak the truth to you on the days when you do not believe an ounce of it yourself.

Yes, there are struggles that will arise, but they do nothave to wipe you out.

Who are the people in your life who help carry hope for you?

Who are your bright, shining torchbearers when life feelsdark and hard?

You can do this.

You are not the only person who is going through this.

You are not alone.

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