How to Find a Divorce Support Group

When I knew my divorce was inevitable, I began asking my counselor on where I could go to attend some type of divorce recovery or support group.

I knew I needed support and encouragement as I went through the legal process, and I did not know where to start.

At the time, there were not any options from local Catholic churches. The only support groups I saw were offered at local Protestant churches. My counselor (a Christian herself) suggested a few places to contact, and I settled on a program called Divorce Care at big, non-denominational church located near my job.

Looking back, I am so glad I had a support group to go to in those early months when everything felt so uncertain and overwhelming at times. I wish that Catholic parishes near me would have had more resources,  but in the moment, I was grateful to have at least something to attend.

As a result from that experience, I think it is important for divorced Catholics to have the resources they need to do their healing work after a divorce, especially if there are not finding a lot of resources in their local community.

If we want to be the Church Jesus desires us to be, we have to be willing to walk alongside our brothers and sisters when they experience life-altering pain like a divorce.

Here is a list of ideas on how to go about finding a divorce recovery or support group in your local community.

Maybe you yourself do not need this information, but hang onto it because there may be someone in your life who does need it.

1. Contact your diocesan Family Life Office

The best place to start if you do not know where to begin is call your local diocesan office. See if your diocese has a marriage or family life office and ask to speak to someone on what resources are available to Catholics looking for support in the midst of a divorce. Find out if there are parishes currently offering any type of support group in the diocese.

If not, express your desire for the diocese to consider offering recovery groups like that. It is likely you are not the only person who is looking for something, so don’t be afraid to express what you need from your local Church community.

2. Find a Divorce Care group near your zip code

On the home site of Divorce Care, you can punch in your zip code to get a listing of local groups within a radius of where you live.

Now it is important to know Divorce Care is not a Catholic divorce support group. It is what Protestant churches use. That being said, I still very much enjoyed it. The participant workbook had many great resources with books I was able to find and check out at my local library.

Knowing it is not a Catholic group, they do not cover anything about the annulment process because our Protestant brothers and sisters do not have that in their faith denomination. Be mindful if you attend a Divorce Care group, you still need to educate yourself on the annulment process itself and speak with your parish priest or deacon.

Support groups are a place where you meet people who have walked the same or a very similar path you have known. Open yourself up to the many great gifts it could give you in your own healing journey.

3. Look into Catholic Programs by Lisa Duffy and Rose Sweet

The only resources I have seen for divorced Catholics have been created and developed by these two ladies. I personally have read many of their books and recently for the first time led a support group using Rose Sweet’s materials.

Both programs are supported by well-known Catholic leaders and cover the many important topics when discussing the many facets of divorce and its effects on Catholic men and women. They also both discuss at great length the annulment process and its importance for those who someday desire to remarry.

Even if there is not a parish nearby that offers one of these programs, maybe purchase a workbook and DVD set so at least you could go through it yourself, with a friend, or perhaps even your counselor.

4.Ask your pastor if you can start a Divorce Support Group at your parish

Sometimes we see a need in our parish communities. Maybe if there is not a divorce support group, God wants you to take a jump and talk to your pastor about running one yourself! Have you ever considered that?

Before ever approaching that conversation, you need to make sure you are in a healthy place and have done your own healing work. I would recommend being at least three years out from your divorce.

Let your pastor know and show him the resources that lay Catholics have developed to let him know what you would be leading is solid and based on what the Catholic Church teaches.

When you went through your divorce, did you ever attend a divorce recovery or support group? Why or why not?

If yes, how did it help you work through the pain of your divorce?