Finding Aid Stations for the Divorced

When I got divorced, I was launched on a race I never expected.

It would be a long, slow road to recovery that I never wanted to run. I would need lots of help along the way. 

I’m a runner and I’ve been in a few road races. Whether it’s a 5K or a half-marathon, at certain points along the course you will encounter aid stations. They’re oases of refreshment in the midst of your race. The aid station is typically a table surrounded by volunteers ready to hand you a tiny paper cup of water or Gatorade. Maybe there are orange slices and salt packets too, to restore the electrolytes you’ve depleted so far.

Merriam-Webster defines a “station” as “a regular stopping place in a transportation route.” Aid stations are good for runners, physically and mentally. They remind us we are not superhuman, and we can’t continue the race without a little help. Aid stations are a reminder that we are not alone. Someone has thought to be there for us and help us out on the journey.

For Catholics, the Church is the ultimate aid station. In life’s daily race—whether it’s a relationship, your job, your spiritual walk—we often get depleted and weary.

We need to refuel and nourish ourselves for the journey ahead. To continue running the race, we need sustenance now. 

That’s what aid stations provide. They meet the immediate need that enables us to go on. Otherwise, we lose strength and will not be able to finish. I found this especially true during my divorce.

On the road to recovery from a broken relationship, what kind of aid does the Church provide along the way? One, she offers the sacraments to strengthen and refresh us. Have you sinned? Go to confession and receive God’s loving absolution. Need strength for the next stretch of the course? Receive the Body and Blood of Christ in the Eucharist, renewing your covenant with Jesus to save you and help you along life’s path.

In addition to the sacraments, several ministries exist within the Church, designed to help people suffering through a troubled marriage.

For those still married and hoping to reconcile, check out Retrouvaille. 

For those already on the other side of divorce, there are also numerous support resources. Here are just a few:

1.Divorced Catholic

2. Catholic Divorce Ministry

3. United States Conference of Catholic Bishops: Divorce

Besides these national organizations, many local parishes offer divorce support ministries. See if your church or one nearby offers this resource. If not, consider talking with your priest, teaming up with other like-minded people, and starting a divorce recovery group.

There are many people out there who need help, and you may be the one to help them find it. 

As someone who has been divorced, I want to share this: it is not a sin to be divorced. A time you would not be okay to receive communion because of your divorce is if you had remarried again without your previous marriage being annulled. That's why it's important that you go through the annulment process. It will give you healing and clarity in moving forward.

Even Jesus, during his Passion, had help to continue. The traditional Stations of the Cross devotion depicts 14 key moments of Christ’s path to his crucifixion and eventual resurrection. In the sixth station, we meditate on a woman named Veronica, who sees Jesus carrying his cross and feels sympathy for him. She offers him her veil to wipe his face, and he accepts it. Veronica was his aid station along the Way of the Cross.  

We often stumble along life's race, thinking we can do it all on our own. But we all need help.

If Christ himself had help completing his journey to the Cross, then we should definitely seek aid.

Jesus said, “‘A servant is not greater than his master” (Jn 15:20). Therefore, we should take advantage of all the aid the Church offers. After all, Jesus reminds us that he is the vine and we are the branches; apart from him, we can do nothing (Jn 15:5). 

Accept help. Receive nourishment. Never try to go it alone. Even Jesus didn’t do that. Neither did I, and it helped me survive my divorce.