Growing up, doing hard things scared me (don't they scare everyone sometimes?).
But, as we know, the hardest things in life are sometimes the best teachers.
I was not a sporty girl growing up. When I played field hockey in high school, I inwardly groaned every time my coach had us do long runs to build endurance. And yes, I knew this sport would have some running in it. I was the girl who “hated to sweat because it feels gross.”
When I was still married, I randomly decided to start running. For me, it was a healthy way to deal with the confusing chaos of my marriage; there was something really empowering about taking it all out on the pavement and leaving it there. I started with the Couch to 5K running program. Then I moved to running a 5K, and then a 10K.
I stuck with it and actually started to really enjoy running. For my 30th birthday, I decided to run my first half marathon. After that race, I was hooked. As I waited for my divorce to be finalized, I ran two more half marathons. Last year I joined a running group for support and accountability to help me stay focused and committed. And this past October, I ran my first marathon. In the next month, I will begin my training for my second marathon in October.
When I run, I often do not use earbuds. I find it helps me be more present and sometimes use it as an opportunity to talk with God and listen to what He has to say to me. I am amazed at how much of a spiritual practice it has become for me, a peaceful experience.
During my first marathon, in the last few grueling miles, a burst of inspiration hit me.
I had a big insight towards the end of my first marathon in October 2017. Those last few miles are the most emotional and exhausting of a race. You are so very close to that finish line (and a cold beer and cheeseburger!), but yet it still feels so far away.
During the last few miles, I started repeating over and over again in my head, “You can do hard things. You can do hard things!”
I began to recall all the ways God was restoring my heart and bringing new life from the ashes of my broken marriage.
I called to mind the faces and names of close friends and family members who were there for me when I needed them most.
I counted all the powerful ways Jesus has shown up in my life: how he opened doors and used little reminders to constantly show me that He was with me every step of the way.
I recalled all those late night phone calls, coffee dates, and tears shed with people who carried hope for me when I had none.
"You can do hard things," Jesus told me.
The more I spoke those words to myself, the more I got choked up. By the time I was turning the final corner, I was on the verge of tears and just trying to hold it together. And when I crossed that finish line, I made the sign of the cross, bent over and just began to weep. I just cried and cried.
Yes, I was so proud of myself for completing this intense physical task. But I was also so overcome with the presence of Jesus.
It was as if those last 3 or 4 miles, Jesus took my heart on a journey. He showed me, every step of the way, all the ways He loved me, that He was with me during the times I felt most alone and scared over the last few years. As wonderful as it was to get my medal, it didn’t compare with what I shared with the Lord in those final miles.
Even though sometimes it might be hard to believe, know that you can do hard things too.
For many years of my life, I talked myself out of doing hard things because I thought it was too much or that I couldn’t handle it. Whether it was my own insecurities or lies I had believed about myself, it was as if I was not living my life to the fullest.
I never would have dreamed I could run a marathon, but I did, because I can do hard things. I never would have seen myself surviving and thriving in spite of a painful marriage, but I have, because I can do hard things.
And you: you can do hard things too.
I never ever dreamed I could do this. I never thought I could do something hard, just like I never thought I would be happy again or smile after my divorce. But I have and you will too.
There is hope in the hard. There is brave in the scared. And there is always a resurrection after a crucifixion.
For you, it might not look like running a marathon. But celebrate when you do those hard, beautiful things in life. Because it is those hard, scary things that sometimes change us the most.
What are hard, brave things you have done in your life? Where have you been brave in your life since your divorce?
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