Debunking 3 Myths of the Annulment Process

Growing up, I never really knew anyone close to me who went through a divorce.

There was no personal experience of divorce that ever impacted me through friends at school or close family members.

As I got older, began to date and eventually got engaged, I distinctly remembered thinking to myself, Well I don’t have to ever worry about divorce because good Catholics never get a divorce. Marriage is always for life.

Little did I know at the time, I would later on be knocked off my high horse of self-righteousness and know-it-all attitude. 

The reality is that life is not that black and white, it is not as clear-cut or easily defined as we would like it to be. Catholic marriages can end for any number of reasons.

One of things unique for a Catholic who goes through a divorce is the Annulment Process.

What exactly is an annulment?

While a divorce is a civil act legally ending a marriage, an annulment is the Church making a determination where what was believed to be a valid, sacramental marriage is declared to never having been a marriage in the first place.

This means on the day a couple got married, it looked like they had full consent, intent, and will to live out their vows. However, after an extensive investigation, reasons or circumstances can be proven that a marriage never really happened in the first place (making it null).

The sad reality is that too often annulments get a bad rap both in and outside the Catholic Church.

Here are three of some common myths I want to help debunk and shed some light on.

1. NO—The Church is NOT saying your marriage never existed—This is one of the most common myths I have come across in regards to annulments. An annulment is not the Catholic Church saying your marriage never existed. What the Church is saying is that a valid, sacramental marriage never took place.

The Church fully recognizes and acknowledges a couple was married and truly thought they had a valid marriage. An annulment is a ruling on the sacramental nature and bond of a marriage, not a statement on whether a couple was married or not.

2. NO—Annulments are NOT just a moneymaker for the Church—I have heard from many older Catholics that annulments are no more than money-making opportunities for the Catholic Church. That is not true. It is true that in some dioceses there are fees to process an annulment case. That is not because the Church is “making money” off of people, but the fees go to pay for full-time and part-time staff who work at the tribunal, which is where all the work occurs for annulment cases.

In some parts of the country, there are dioceses that do not charge to process an annulment case. Where I live in the Archdiocese of Detroit is an example. One of our past local leaders, Cardinal Szoka, was himself a child of divorce. He took away any fees because he never wanted that to be a reason for a Catholic to not pursue the annulment process. When I learned that, I found that to be such a pastoral response.

3. NO—An Annulment does NOT make children illegitimate—As an adult, one of my best friend’s parents went through a divorce. My friend's mom, a lifelong Catholic and daily communicant, was not open to pursuing an annulment because she thought it would make her three grown children illegitimate. This is an idea I find more older Catholics believe, but nothing could be farther from the truth. An annulment has no effect whatsoever on any children that came about as a part of a marriage.

God never has illegitimate children. He only has sons and daughters whom He dearly loves. Annulments deal specifically with the sacramental bond of the parents' marriage and has nothing to do with their children.

So, let's proceed with knowledge and without fear.

Being able to talk about and dispel myths regarding Church teaching on annulments is important for the Church. We as a Church need to do a better job in engaging and reaching out to divorced (and civilly remarried) Catholics as they navigate these painful areas of life.

I am sure all of us want to help build and become the Church Jesus wants us to be. A part of living that well is being able to talk about the messy, painful things people face and endure in life. 

Debunking unhelpful and false ideas when it comes to what the Church teaches on divorce, annulment, and remarriage is one important place to start.