One morning at Mass, the closing hymn was “Go Make a Difference”. I sang it and then got in my car and drove off. I went to the liquor store. Let me explain. It was the first day of fall, and I was picking up a couple of mini-bottles of bourbon for some hot apple cider to celebrate the new season with my wife.
As I was waiting outside the liquor store to open, I saw a man standing beside his bicycle. We struck up a conversation. I’ve been wanting a bike, so I asked him about his. We talked about affordable bikes and all their features. He told me that he rides his bike to and from work.
Then he revealed that he separated from his wife two months ago.
I was divorced years ago, and I know that pain, so I told him I’ve been there. Suddenly our talk about bikes developed into a conversation about relationships and broken marriages. We didn’t know each other, but we shared a pain all too common.
As he adjusted his bike helmet, the man went on to tell me about how his children are dealing with the separation and how his wife said she simply didn't want to be married anymore. He said infidelity had happened on her part. We both agreed that an affair is a hard hurdle to get past.
The liquor store opened its doors, so he and I went inside and got our items. As we stood in line to check out, I told him I’d written a short book about divorce after my own divorce a decade ago. He asked if I had a business card, and I had one left in my wallet so I gave it to him. He said he’d check out my book. We never exchanged names.
I told him to have a good day, and then I left.
I’m not a big fan of assigning chance encounters to “divine appointments”. Who are we to decide when God is at work or not? But I do believe that we should be open to when God might be providing us an opportunity to connect with someone we can encourage and support. As I talked with that guy, I sensed that maybe God was prompting me to share my experience of divorce and recovery with him.
My friend Dan says we should try to “live loved, then love out of that place.” When that guy with the bicycle started telling me about his marriage struggles, I figured I’d just tell him about my own. I never intended to talk about broken marriage; I just wanted to talk about bikes. But I saw his vulnerability when he opened up to me, and I recognized a broken brother, so I shared my brokenness too. Maybe he’ll read my book about divorce recovery, or maybe he won’t, but I had to mention it. All I can do is commit that encounter to God and pray that he will do something with it.
My first marriage ended years ago and I received an annulment from the Church. Now I’m happily remarried. My new wife and I enjoyed some hot apple cider with a little bourbon that night. And I think about that cyclist I met.
I never got his name, but I pray for him. I hope he’s okay and that he finds healing and peace.
Sometimes Jesus meets us in church. Sometimes he meets us outside a liquor store like he did with me after church today.
“Live loved” as my friend Dan says. Know you’re loved by God and that he loves everyone else too. Sometimes you meet those loved people in the sanctuary, and sometimes you meet them waiting outside the liquor store after church.
Recognize them as loved, and share God’s love with them when you can.
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