Using CatholicMatch To Find Your Husband? Meet Your 7 Rules For Success!

So you’re using CatholicMatch to find your future husband? You’ve come to the right place!

Since you’re here, you’re probably seeking a true Catholic marriage–which is one man and one woman joining in the Sacramental union freely and faithfully, for the good of each other, and with openness to children. You’re already following the most important rule: find faithful men who are marriage-minded. Generally speaking, if you want a husband, look for men who want to be husbands! They’ll naturally be in search of a good potential wife (e.g., you.)

Congratulations, you’re already on the right track! Let’s talk about the other seven rules you should follow as a single Catholic woman seeking a husband online.

Manage your expectations.

I know, I know, I’ll keep this one short! This is as unromantic as it is important. You can absolutely, positively find a great husband online! And you can absolutely, positively derail an otherwise promising connection because your expectations are unrealistic. So double-check your expectations here!

Focus your profile on giving, not getting!

It’s easy to write a list of all the things you want in a man when filling out your profile. Did you know doing so will actually turn away a lot of good men? It makes a lady look entitled and picky, even if you aren’t! It’s fine to mention one or two priorities you’re seeking–a practicing Catholic, someone who loves kids, etc. But the majority of your profile should highlight you.

What can you bring to a potential relationship? Talk about that instead! Maybe you’re a great cook–write a note about your favorite recipes. If you’re outdoorsy, add hiking photos. If you love kids, mention your teaching career. This will help you focus less on what you can get from a marriage, and focus on what you can give to one. It will also signal the same to the gentlemen of CatholicMatch.

Brush up on your conversation skills!

Online dating is built on communication. So dust off those icebreaker questions, and practice making good conversation! You will have the best chance of meeting good matches when you can carry on an open-ended discussion, ask good questions, and even flirt a little. It’s also helpful to know how to steer a conversation offline and into the real world: read more about that here!

Give men a chance.

We as women often rush to answer the all-important question: “Is he marriage material?” When you’re just in the online dating phase, this can destroy your dating life. Why? The pressure of jumping right to “Could we get married?!” results in snap decisions without ever getting to know the guy in question.

Instead, just give men a chance! Dating should always happen in the context of discerning a possible vocation together. But this means you have to be able to give men a chance. You can't know if he's marriage material until you get to know him and go out with him for a while. You are online dating to meet men and get to know them as individuals. So do so! Let him have your phone number even when the first message was kinda awkward. Try that video date with someone far away from you. Go out for coffee without envisioning your future children together. CatholicMatch is not a spouse-shopping app, and you can’t pick a husband from the window display. Put in the time and effort to get to know people. You can also learn some foolproof ways to get more men to approach you online!

Don’t write off distance.

Most people don’t want to ever date long distance. It’s not nearly as convenient or fun as dating locally. But if you’re seeking a connection that could lead to marriage, you have to ask yourself: do you want a convenient relationship or the right relationship? You want the right one, of course!

If you’re not sure how far of a distance you should consider, here’s a good rule of thumb. How far would you travel if a million dollars was waiting for you on the other side? One hour? Ten hours? Across the hemisphere?! A good spouse is worth far, far more than a million dollars. You never know if this faraway gentleman could be the person God has in mind for you.  

Be honest . . . without oversharing.

There are easy applications here, like being authentic about your values and not filtering your photos. Men appreciate transparency! They also appreciate it when you don’t look like a totally different person in your photos online. You can apply this to even tougher topics. Maybe you have kids from a previous relationship, or you have some serious health problems. You don’t want to dump all the details in your profile, but you shouldn’t hide those facts either. Find a happy medium! Mention that you have three kids from a past marriage, but don’t put up pictures of them. Say a health issue prevented you from finishing your second college degree, and leave it at that (yep, this is word for word what I put on my old profile!) The goal is to give men a heads-up without heart-dumping all of your baggage into a profile.

Use all the tools at your disposal!

CatholicMatch not only has a direct messaging system and a real-time Chat feature, but it also has the unique Match feature! The site algorithm “matches” you with others whose ages, personality types, and faith answers align. You can also customize and save your member searches based on geography, age, and many other things. There’s the “new members” feature, the “birthday” feature, and others that keep new and “new to you” users at the forefront. There’s the Video Chat feature, so you can do a virtual meetup without swapping sensitive identification information. Explore all these options and more on your CatholicMatch profile!

And when you find your husband, be sure to send us your Success Story. We can’t wait to hear all about it!