What's Your Excuse For Not Trying Online Dating?

Why haven’t YOU joined CatholicMatch yet? Is it because you believe one of these myths about online dating?

"It's only for desperate people."

At this point, the vast majority of singles are using some type of online dating app or website. Is 95% of the single population simply ridiculously desperate? I don’t think so. Not only do the numbers refute this, but most of my sisters and friends are happily dating or married to an online date. And nobody I know joined CatholicMatch out of desperation.

Of course, you will have your desperate outliers in any dating pool, whether it’s in person or online. But the majority of people who join CatholicMatch are looking to meet people who share their values and goals. What’s so desperate about that? Nothing. It’s just smart!

“It’s only for hookups; nobody online is looking for something serious like I am.”

This is generalizing all dating apps and websites the same way. There is certainly a big market through secular dating apps for this kind of thing. But it’s just silly to assume all dating apps, especially Catholic ones, are the same way! This is why I advise all Catholics, and all serious Christians, to choose their online websites carefully, and not based on how many people are using it. It’s well worth paying a membership to join a smaller pool of people who already share your values, versus having to weed through a whole ocean of people just trying to find one who is looking for marriage.

The moral of the story? Know what you value and what you want, and join a dating website that matches! Bonus: CatholicMatch offers a specific section of a user’s profile to state exactly what they’re looking for, so you don’t have to do all the work!

"I want to meet someone the old fashioned way!"

I think you should ask yourself, is a meet-cute really your first priority for a relationship? It’s all well and good to dream of meeting Mr. Right on campus, or finding Mrs. Right at a local coffee shop. It might even happen. But is this truly the most important part of your future marriage? I hope not. Your priorities should center on your faith, your values, your personality, and your future desires for a family. Not to mention the other person!

So, instead of dreaming of HOW to meet someone, start looking for WHOM you want to meet. That should be your priority! Besides, just because you’re dating online doesn’t mean you can’t try to meet someone in person at the same time. These are not mutually exclusive options, and you should have a thriving social life along with your online dating adventures!

"I tried it once and it didn't work!"

What does “work” actually mean? If you met fellow Catholic singles, online dating did exactly what it was supposed to. If “work” means your future spouse popped up immediately and it was love-at-first-profile-photo… well, you might have mistaken online dating with a Hollywood rom-com.

Online dating isn’t a microwave meal for instant marriage. It’s a way to meet people, and it can take a long time to meet someone who’s a really good fit for you. Check out all the Success Stories here on the CatholicMatch blog—many, many people spent multiple years on CatholicMatch before finding their spouse, and they always say it’s worth the wait!

“What would people think if I said my spouse came from online? What would I say to my future children?!”

First, hold your horses! You’re getting way too far ahead of yourself. Joining CatholicMatch doesn’t mean you’re destined to marry someone you meet there. Like we mentioned earlier, it’s normal to tell people you met online, because most people these days have tried online dating themselves!

If you think about it, all of history shows that singles keep coming up with new ways to meet each other: from parent-arranged marriages, to town matchmakers, to debutante balls, to soda shops, to online dating, there’s always some newfangled thing. I joke to my husband that online dating might eventually get replaced by new technology in the future. In which case, our kids will laugh at us and think we’re old-fashioned for having met on a website at all!

“What if nobody on there likes me?”

Darling, there is a shoe for every foot. God made you to be YOU! He has a plan for you. One, ten, or a hundred rejections has absolutely no bearing on when the right person will come along and adore you. Don’t let fear and insecurity hold you back!

Work to be the best version of yourself, and while you’re at it, put yourself out there to see who else out there might be doing the same thing. Go to socials, singles mixers, churches, and local attractions. Join online dating and start talking to people. Give people a chance to see the real you, and you will be surprised by the results.