6 Things Every Online Dating Profile Should Include

So, you’re joining CatholicMatch!

Whether it’s your first time here or your twelfth, WELCOME!

You are diving into a great pool of devout singles, all of whom are looking to mingle and get to know each other. The first step to jumping in is to create your profile. Where do you start? What should you include? What if you give the wrong impression? Where is the guidebook for this?!

Today we’re going back to basics and covering six essentials of writing a good online dating profile. Many of these may seem common-sense, and they are! Even if you know all of these, it’s still worth diving into exactly how you can use them to set yourself up for online success!

1. Use at least one good photo of yourself.

Online dating runs a lot on appearances, so make the most of it! When I was online dating, I ran into people who had zero photos on their profiles—no matter how nice the messages were, or what else was in the profile, I ALWAYS skipped over them. I thought they could so easily be fake profiles, and if they were real people, what were they trying to hide from their potential dates?

So when you’re making an online profile, I recommend picking at least three pictures of yourself, filter-free. Give all your online matches a solid idea of what you look like! Bonus points if you can include photos that are candid, include your favorite hobbies, or anything else that can round out a first online impression. It’s also easy for someone to message you based on a detail in your photos, such as a pet or a beautiful location!

2. Showcase your personality in your own words!

Skip the Tolkien quote and bypass the Bible verse opening. Your online profile is supposed to be a snapshot of who YOU are! Use your own words, just as if you were introducing yourself to someone. You want to showcase yourself exactly as you are, not create an “ideal” window display to attract the most customers. The right people will love your personality, not your profile! So, showcase your life, your passions, your faith, and the things you adore.

You should also take the opportunity to share any relevant facts that could impact your dating life. If you are a single parent, widower, or divorcee, set aside a sentence to simply mention that fact without going into detail (more on this in #5.) Maybe it’s a job that ties you to a specific place, or you care for your ailing parent, or you use a wheelchair. It could be something positive, too, such as openness to step-parenting, or how your work-from-home job allows you the freedom to live anywhere!

3. Include two make-it-or-break-it’s.

Yes, you are allowed to say what you are looking for on your dating profile! The trick is to keep it concise and limit it to your top two standards. And, if you can, try to word them for what you ARE seeking, instead of what you’re not. For example, say it like “looking for someone who agrees with all seven faith questions!” versus “not interested in anyone who disagrees with Catholic chastity.” Yes, it may be true, but you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

If you’re tempted to write out more than just two standards, or a whole list of what you’re not seeking, remember this: good matches often pass up profiles with extensive expectations, because they don’t see themselves as the perfect fit! Save the rest of your goals and expectations for in-person dates, when you are interacting one on one, face to face.

4. Pop in some unique details . . . which are easy to comment on!

Similar to showcasing your personality in a profile, include a couple of softballs for anyone messaging you. This is one great thing about CatholicMatch’s “favorites” feature—put in a few of your favorite things, and boom, anyone who agrees has a reason to reach out to you! You could add in a sentence or two about your unique travel experiences, a couple of fun facts about your job, or pop in your favorite lame joke.

For example, a friend of mine told me about a gentleman’s profile she ran across. He’d added: “I’m a rebel. One time, I loitered.” Not only is this hilarious, but it also offers the viewer a super-easy topic to message about. Who wouldn’t want to comment on his “rebellious” nature?! And then there’s the flip side—when you see a profile that has a great unique detail, shoot the member a message! You never know what could come of it.

5. Use present-minded language.

This one is a little more abstract, but stick with me for a moment and you’ll see exactly what I mean. When you’re writing (or re-writing!) your CatholicMatch profile, double check to make sure it is focused on the present time in your life. This is important!

Everyone knows not to talk about your exes on first dates, right? It’s a similar idea with your profile: if you spend a lot of it talking about your past (romantic or otherwise), you risk seeming preoccupied with who you used to be. If you spend your profile space discussing your visions for the future, complete with spouse and children, you risk sounding pushy and desperate.

Instead, use language about the here and now to keep you focused on the present moment. Replace “back when . . .” with “these days,” and “someday I plan to. . .” with “I’m currently working towards.” See the difference? The present-minded language helps showcase you right now, versus something you used to or want to be. This is much more attractive to other online daters!

6. Think positively.

I know, I know, the ultimate cliche! It still rings true. When given a choice, everyone prefers to keep positive and encouraging company, rather than negative or discouraging company. Obviously, this holds true in every relationship, and it’s especially impactful in romance. No matter how burned out you feel, or how hopeless dating seems, God really does have a good plan in mind for you.

It’s good to feel hopeful and to see the glass half full! No matter where you are in your dating life, you can always focus on what’s going well. Instead of “I hate small talk on first dates,” say “I love getting to know someone beyond small talk!” Instead of “I can’t seem to meet anyone who’s a good fit,” say “I can’t wait to see who’s around the corner!” Words have power. Attitudes have power. And, more than anything, God has power. Trust Him to use it for your good!

Go forth and write that profile with confidence!

Now that you're armed with these six essentials to writing a good online dating profile...you are off to a great start (or re-start) with your online dating journey! Remember, sometimes even a really small change, such as a photo or paragraph, can completely change your love life for the better.