The Ultimate List of Long (Or Social) Distancing Dates
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No matter what type of distance you face, dates can still happen!
For the time being and in some places globally, social distance dating might be typical for some time, especially if all the traditional date sites and locations are either closed, open for takeaway only, or limited in their service capacity.
With the unknowns of COVID-19 and fears about a second wave of COVID in major cities, our dating relationships might begin to resemble long-distance dating. Let's be honest, when your special someone lives just down the road as opposed to 500 miles apart, dating looks different and requires a different sort of dating.
My (now) wife and I lived for three months apart before getting married in the Catholic Church. I was in Houston, TX, and she was in Perth, Australia. So, our dates were very long distance with a 13 hour time change to boot. We took the time apart to focus on and learn about the other person in a different capacity.
There were fun times, and there were, expectedly so, struggles.
For instance, the lack of physical touch was challenging for us, especially when one of us needed a hug from the other. A secondary goal was to make memories. Like with the ordinary run of the mill dating, we wanted to continue making memories and growing closer.
Therefore, I propose a few ways to get to know each other and make memories while practicing long (social) distance dating. Many of these ideas will require a phone or computer by which you can speak to someone over video.
Here are ten ideas for long (social) distancing dating.
Just a note: These suggestions assume that there is a basic level of trust between you and your special friend. Suggesting one of the following ideas for a first date is not advised. Lastly, I assume you and your date are already praying together, so I won't mention that one.
1. Cook and dine together.
Cooking a meal together and sharing was always time well spent for my wife and I. It was often more of an avenue to conversation and stories about food, friends, and travel. The same can be true while social distancing.
How to do it long (social) distancing style: Both you and your date cook the same meal simultaneously and then dine as if it is a date night. Also, its a date. Put on your date-night clothes. Put a table cloth on the table, light a candle, and enjoy. She is worth it!
Take it up a notch: make it a surprise. Order the ingredients for the dish from the local store and send them to your date's place with the recipe. Your date will have the excitement of opening a package and learning what meal he or she will be cooking with their special someone.
Fun cookbooks to try: A Taste of Heaven or Cooking with the Saints.
2. Movie night.
Movies are a popular date. Also, depending on the film, the after movie conversations can be fun and thought-provoking. However, in a day of long-social-distancing, movie night might be difficult to arrange. Besides cinemas being closed or limited capacity, it can sometimes be a challenge to sync films so that one person doesn't spoil or react to something on the screen before the other person can find out what has happened, thereby spoiling the movie.
How to do it long (social) distancing style: Use a web browser extension like Netflix Party or Scener, that allows users to watch the same film simultaneously. After the movie, talk about it. Don't know where to begin? Do a little background reading. Have fun with it.
3. FACEWINE (aka Virtual Cocktail hour).
Happy hour and cocktail hours are good short dates and can be opportunities for your friends, coworkers, or family to meet your special someone.
How to do it long (social) distancing style: This one involves Zoom or WhatsApp. Schedule a time when a group of friends can get together, and your date can join in the virtual cocktail hour. Maybe find out what his or her favorite drink of choice is and have that ready for them when they get home, delivered, or at least the ingredients.
Take it up a notch: This might also be a good time for everyone at the virtual happy hour to learn how to make a classic cocktail, and everyone does it at the same time.
4. Stimulate the mind.
With long (social) distance dating, physical affection will be hard to come by. So, make memories and learn what intellectual interests the person you are dating has and learn about them yourself. This date can be done whether you are long (social) distance dating or not. Send links to articles or YouTube videos your date might be interested in reading or watching. If you like video games and she likes music, maybe a crossover article exists about the two.
5. Date a book (a book date).
"Our reading list is too long, and it already has too many books on it," said no book-loving person ever. Sadly, you will never read all the books you want before you die, even if you are an avid reader. So, pick a book, and read it together. Maybe there is a book that you, as a guy, don't understand why girls like it. Now is your chance to read that Jane Austen novel with your girlfriend and see if you measure up to Mr. Darcy.
Take it up a notch: Read aloud to each other. On a recent episode of the Tim Ferris podcast, Hugh Jackman talked about how he and his wife read to each other, and how it stimulates the mind for ideas, and helps him and his wife discuss fears and anxieties.
6. Board games.
This is only possible if you both own the same game. However, even if you both own the same game and video chat to play the game together, it can still be challenging. Fortunately, numerous board games now have an online presence, either through smartphone apps, browser-ready versions, or standalone version you can download from an online store.
If you live in an area where limits on gatherings are in effect, make it a double date. Invite your date over, tell her to bring her laptop, fire up something like Catan Universe (an online version of the hit board game Settlers of Catan), and have another couple who enjoy the same game sign in and play along. Ticket to Ride and the co-op and culturally and contemporarily relative Pandemic also have digital versions available.
7. Mail it in.
Writing letters and sending them via snail-mail has been a long time favorite way to connect with people, whether one is just checking in on the weather or one is going all Cyrano de Bergerac. It doesn't matter if you are a poet and/or writing profound things. Just write a note saying that you enjoy spending time with your date, and you look forward to seeing her again.
Besides letters and notes, numerous things can be safely mailed and delivered to your date's front door COVID free. Buy her some flowers. Guys, we understand the theory of why girls like flowers, but we don't experience flowers in the same way girls do. Flowers aren't only for makeups after fights or for special occasions. Flowers can be sent any day of the week just because. When the flowers die, you and your date can discuss the virtues of memento mori and the fragility of the physical world.
8. Get it delivered.
We live in a world of online shopping. Buy each other something fun and agree not to open it until you are both online together and can watch each other's reactions (who doesn't like presents?). This can also be a great way to make special days or anniversaries extra-special when you can't necessarily go out to celebrate like you usually would.
9. Laugh it up.
Laughter is the best medicine, the saying goes, so why not have a healthy dose and swap a few of your favorite clips? You might discover your date has a love for dad jokes, bad puns, or hilarious stand-up. A few laughs will keep it light, and who doesn't need a bit of comic relief during these tough times?
10. Do quizzes together.
This can be anything from "which Disney villain are you?" to the free "Love Languages" test. My now wife and I tried the "36 Questions to Make You Fall in Love with Anyone" which was published in the New York Times. Did it work? We didn't quite finish it but it was eye-opening, fun, and a way to bring new depth to an intimate relationship.
Finally—act like it’s a date; dress well, avoid multitasking, and have a cut off time.
Natural reasons to end a date, an hour drive back to your place, aren’t as common while on a long (social) distancing date. Just like on a real date where the night naturally comes to an end, think about having an “end” time for your date so that you enjoy each other’s company. It's better to leave on a good note and on a good memory than not.
These are only a few suggestions that hopefully will help keep relationships going during a time of pandemic and beyond. My wife and I used a number of these or variations during our time apart. I hope they inspire some other exciting date ideas.
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