3 Things I Wish I Knew Before Dating Long-Distance
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So, you’ve met someone special on CatholicMatch!
This person is everything you have looked for...in fact, he or she could be “The One.”
There is one problem though, they live really far away and you have never braved dating long-distance before.
You might ask yourself, "Is it worth it?!”
Well, luckily for you, I have a few tips and tricks that will make it more than worth the effort.
I met my fiancé, Abraham, on May 31st of 2021 on an online dating site. He was living in Chicago, IL, and I was living in Topeka, KS. We were about 600 miles away from each other. I had told myself before I started online dating that I was not going to enter a long-distance relationship.
Not being able to see each other often, having to travel, and not being able to go on “normal” dates, were all things that I did not want to have to put myself through. However, something clicked when Abe messaged me, and I thought I should give long-distance a try.
Throughout the next nine months, we dated long-distance and it definitely wasn't always easy.
However, during those nine, long months, I learned a lot about dating long-distance that will hopefully help you to successfully date someone far away, too!
So, here's my quick list of what would have been nice to know before we started dating, despite being so many miles apart.
1. Technology will become your best friend.
There are so many ways to communicate, there are letters, email, phone calls, texts, and various forms of social media.
While writing letters is romantic and sweet, it is not the quickest way of getting to know your potential significant other. The further distance the two of you are, the more you will have to rely on technology to see and speak to each other.
It is crucial to have reliable technology and service when dating long-distance. Make time to have virtual dates, do movie nights, play electronic games with each other, and don’t forget to video call each other often. Technology these days makes long-distance connections easier and accessible to most people.
However, a handwritten letter is still a dependable form of communication and can be very romantic!
2. Arguing long-distance is very different from arguing in person.
Arguing is normal in every relationship, and long-distance is no exception. Not only does the distance make arguing difficult, but it can sometimes be a cause of arguments.
It is completely normal to be frustrated when arguing long-distance that you can’t see your partner, pick up on their body language, or console them when the argument is over. The two of you will have to be careful to not let the long-distance be an excuse to be cranky and short-tempered with each other.
Inevitably, you will get used to arguing long-distance, and you will find ways of compromising with each other and defusing disagreements. Once you are reunited with your significant other, you will find that arguing in person is strange and foreign, but with time, you will get accustomed to being in person and it will become normal.
3. There are actually lots of positive experiences in long-distance dating!
There are many virtues and graces to be gained from dating long-distance. Both of you will have many opportunities to gain more patience and understanding. Learning how to communicate and argue while being in two separate locations might make it easier for you to resolve disagreements and communicate in general.
A phrase that came in handy in my relationship was, “If we can make it through long-distance, we can make it through anything.” Long-distance is a good gauge for knowing how serious the relationship is. It takes a special someone to be willing to endure the hardships with you.
With long-distance, you will be given the opportunity to travel to see your significant other. You might discover places you have never been to and experiences that you would not expect. The most important positive of long-distance dating is that it really pushes you to trust in and lean on God.
There will be times when long-distance seems draining, making it impossible to keep moving forward; this is the moment to rely fully on God. Put all your faith in Him, that if it is His will, He will bless your relationship. Long-distance has its ups and downs, but with both God’s help and faith in each other, anything is possible.
Long-distance as a whole can be really intimidating and scary.
Some people in your life may not understand your decision to date long-distance.
There will be times when you feel as if you are at a complete dead end and there is no way the two of you can keep going.
That is all completely normal. With the right person, the two of you will be able to overcome any challenge you are faced with. With good technology, an understandable partner who is willing to learn how to argue with you, and trust in God, the two of you will have no problem braving the ups and downs of long-distance.
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