Long-distance dating has never been easier, which is another way of saying that it’s never actually going to be easy.
True, we have telephones, video chats, email, and texting, but the trouble is these things all amount to the same thing: that you can have conversations. Conversation is important, but when you’re getting to know someone you want to be able to do things together: to have shared experiences, work toward shared goals, and make something together. Or just to spend time in one another’s company without any real rhyme or reason.
And it’s hard to do that when all you can do is talk.
Fortunately, there are ways to get around that, if you’re clever about it.
Below are some suggestions for a more active long-distance date:
1. Dinner and a Movie Skype
One of the easiest ones to set up; pull each other up on Skype and settle in with dinners as if you were sitting across the table. Then you each put on a copy of the same film while you Skype, and you can share and react to it together as you would if you were sitting together on a couch (alas, no chance to put your arm around her and cuddle yet. Some things you simply have to wait for).
Tip: You probably want to use headphones for listening to the film, just to avoid an echo effect.
2. Skype Music Night
If you’re at all musically inclined, get some drinks and open up your computer’s microphones to show off to one another. If you sing or play an instrument, serenade her from across the ether. If both of you are musical, you might stage a Skype-based jam session, or trade songs back and forth.
Or, if you like music but don’t play, put on one of your favorite songs, crank the volume, and have a long-distance dance party watching each other move to the beat (if nothing else, that’s probably a good way to make each other laugh). Just be sure any roommates or neighbors you might have are prepared in advance.
3. Live Audio Book
Simple and similar to the last option: select a book you both want to read, or have read and enjoy, and read it aloud to each other.
There are a lot of ways you can divide it up; you might take turns chapter by chapter, or you might read all the female parts and he reads all the male parts (or vice-versa if you’re feeling silly). Have fun affecting different voices for different characters and try to be the one with the most ridiculous and ham-tastic performance.
There are all kinds of options, and it’ll be a good chance both to share a common interest and to have some fun with each other. Not to mention the fact that one book can last you for several dates, depending on whether you pick Charles Dickens or Doctor Seuss, which will spare you having to come up with something new every time.
4. Video-Game Date
If you can’t meet in real life, set up a multiplayer server just for two and meet in the digital world.
Like the previous entries, this gives you a chance to share something you enjoy with the person you’re interested in, and it has the further advantage of giving you a clear, common goal to work together towards (e.g. “Collect all the stars,” or “Conquer Sweden”).
This is often much more useful for getting to know someone than just talking about nothing in particular, and especially when it comes to creating shared memories and experiences to look back on and laugh over (“Wow, we died horribly that time!”).
What is more, video games, where you have avatars and space to run around in, can allow you to interact much more naturally (ironically enough) than you otherwise would be able to using the phone or computer. It’s easier to be spontaneous and actively involved when you can move about and gesticulate than when you’re more or less tied to sitting in front of your computer.
5. Long-Distance Board Game
If you’ve yet to go digital, try some analog gaming.
The way it works is for you to each set up a version of the game while talking over Skype. When it’s your turn, you describe, or show to the other person what you’re doing on your version of the board, and they make it so on their version. In this way (provided no one cheats), you can carry on a game from any distance. And the cheating can be fun too.
This method of play has a longer history than you might think: during World War II, Humphrey Bogart, a master chess player, used to play games by letter with GIs serving overseas. So, if you wanted a chance to imitate Bogie, here it is.
6. More Ways to Get Creative
These are just a sampling to get your minds working and coming up with something that would fit your own personalities and relationship. The possibilities with a microphone, camera, and internet connection are almost endless: a fashion show, perhaps? Or a poetry recital? Seeing who can keep a straight face the longest while watching political ads? Doing caricatures of one another?
Or how about just brainstorming long-distance activities to share with one another, and trying to outdo each other in the most crazily creative ideas? After all, discovering things you like to do together, building your own traditions and habits, your own special variety of dates, is itself part of building a relationship. Don’t let a little thing like a few hundred or a few thousand miles rob you of it.
If you're wondering if a successful Long Distance Relationship is really feasible...
Check out some of our posts on how people approach them:
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