How to Signal to a Man That You're Interested in Him

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It should come as no shock that men and women are different.

Most of us notice that pretty early on and soon learn to appreciate the fact, but there’s no doubt it creates complications, not the least of which in communication. As a rule, men and women communicate differently and look for different signs in each other, expecting different things from one another.

A woman typically wants to learn more about a man's character, personality, and capabilities. What a man fundamentally looks for is signs that a woman is liking what she sees.

Ladies, here are some specific, simple signs you can give to let a man know that you’re interested in him.

1. Talk about yourself.

Sounds a little counter-intuitive, but bear with me for a minute.

Of course, this doesn’t mean talking non-stop about yourself, or making the relationship all about you. It means sharing your personal concerns, your ideas, what’s going on in your life and (this is important) seeking his input and support.

By talking about your own life, you signal that you want him involved in your life; that this isn’t just a means of passing the time for you, but that you want him to take an interest in you, personally.

2. Ask about his life.

This is the other half of the equation. See, there’s a difference between sharing an interest in a given subject, which might let you talk for hours and hours, and being interested in the other person. Great relationships can be formed on the former, but not the same kind of relationship.

By asking about his life, about his day-to-day concerns, even just about how he’s doing today, you show that you are interested in him personally; that you want to talk about something simply because it concerns him, not necessarily because you find the subject itself appealing.

Like with the first point, this signals that you want to be involved in his life just as much as you want him involved in yours.

3. Take note of his interests and preferences.

In other words: pay attention. If you want to let a man know you’re interested, then let him know that you’ve been listening to him.

For instance, say you’re talking to a man over the internet and he mentions that he’s a huge Nintendo fan. A few days later, you happen across a cool bit of Mario fanart that you ordinarily would just pass over, but instead you pop the link into a message and send it to him. It’s a simple thing, but it tells him, “I remember what you said and I am thinking about you even when we aren’t talking.”

To paraphrase Mister Kipling, “Let him know that you know what he’s saying, let him feel that you know what to say.”

4. Don’t take turns.

We sometimes hear people say things like “the ball is in his court now.” Great for a game of tennis; not so great for a relationship.

Now, obviously there has to be some give and take; flooding his inbox with messages without any reply is going to look desperate. But if you already have a healthy correspondence, don’t feel shy about writing as the mood strikes you, or whenever you find you have something to say, whether or not he’s replied to your last message yet. This lets him know that you legitimately want to talk with him, that he’s in your thoughts, that the correspondence is a joy and not an obligation.

If someone only responds to you when you write to them, that may be a sign that they like you, and certainly want to be polite to you, but they’re not really interested in you.

5. Allow for some physical contact.

When a horse comes to trust someone,one of the signals it gives is allowing the person to put his hand between thehorse’s eyes, where the horse can’t see what he’s doing. There’s somethingsimilar in human relationships.

You see, men typically are more physically powerful than women, and most men are aware of this fact on at least some level. We know that it’s very easy for us to put women into a situation that could send warning signals to her brain: something as simple as blocking her in a booth or taking her hand has the potential to set off the “you are not in control here” alarm.

When you want to signal to a man that you are comfortable with him and that you want his attention, allowing him to touch you is one way of doing that; this sends a signal that “I trust you, and I believe you won’t mistreat me.”

Ways you would do this would be, for instance, leaving your hand in his reach, or sitting close beside him, or bending toward him; movements that show you are putting your defenses down for the moment and giving him a chance to touch you if he likes

Part of this is touching him as well. Things like leaning against him, putting your hand on his arm, playfully hitting him; something that signals you’re fine being in contact with him and that you trust him enough to make those little advances

These are just some ways that you can send the “yes, I am interested; please keep pursuing me” signal in a language that men will pick up on. Ultimately, it's about showing respect, trust, and interest in his personality and character.

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