A Catholic Man's Guide to Flirting

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Flirting can be especially tricky for men. In our culture, chivalry is often confused with chauvinism and genuine compliments are mistaken for creepy pick-up lines. It can be difficult to know how to approach a woman in a way that is both respectful and playful.

As a Catholic, it's important to remember that flirting should always be grounded in respect for the other person and their dignity as a child of God. With that in mind, here are some tips for how men can flirt with women in a way that is both fun and appropriate.

Start with a compliment.

Everyone loves to be complimented, and a genuine compliment is a great way to show interest in someone without being overly forward. Just be sure to keep your compliments appropriate and focused on the person's character, interests, or appearance, rather than anything too personal or intimate.

If you have never met the woman you are complimenting, don’t expect anything in return. Women are used to men complimenting them as a way to start a conversation. That can feel transactional.

Instead, approach her and give the compliment without expecting to continue the conversation. If she seems like she wants to keep talking, ask her name. If not, be content with walking away. She will appreciate the compliment more.

Be confident and approachable.

Confidence is key when it comes to flirting. If you're nervous or shy, it's going to be difficult for you to make a connection with the woman you're interested in. So, work on building your confidence. It helps to remind yourself about your positive qualities. If you approach a woman feeling like you’re worthless, she will sense that and probably agree with you.

When a man is comfortable with himself, usually women are comfortable around him. Don't be afraid to approach the person and engage them in conversation. Just be yourself and let your personality shine through.

You’ve probably heard the advice, “be yourself.” It’s repeated often because it’s true. Putting on an act or trying to be someone you’re not really shows a lack of confidence which is off-putting to most women. Don't try to be someone you're not or put on an act in order to impress a woman.

It also helps to remember, flirting is not a big deal. Single people do this all the time. If the flirting is returned, great! If not, that’s okay! It was worth a shot.

Respect her boundaries.

Respecting boundaries is important, regardless of whether you're flirting or not. Boundaries are best set through explicit conversation, but you can get a sense of someone’s boundaries by their body language and reactions.

If a woman is not interested in talking to you, there are usually signs. Is she trying to end the conversation? Does she keep checking her phone or watch? Is she looking around the room at anything but you? These are usually good indications she is not interested. If she seems uncomfortable, it's important to step back and give her space or even leave entirely.

If the person doesn't seem interested in flirting, it's important to respect their boundaries and back off. There's no need to persist if the person isn't reciprocating your advances.

Also, be mindful of the language you use when flirting. Make sure your compliments are kind and respectful. If you compliment her appearance, do so modestly. Avoid using innuendos or language that could be considered inappropriate or disrespectful.

To put it bluntly: Flirting should never be sexual. Period.

Ask questions.

Often when guys flirt, they get lost in saying things. I promise you are not as silver-tongued as you think. Give the girl a chance to flirt back by asking her questions. People love talking about themselves, so asking questions is a great way to show interest in her and get to know her better.

It should go without saying (but it needs to be said) that after you ask, listen. When you ask a question, listen to her answers and respond in a thoughtful way. When you’re clearly listening to her, it not only signals your interest but it makes her feel valued. This is important to building a connection.

Listening can also help you determine whether she's interested in you or not. If she's engaged in the conversation and seems to be enjoying herself, it's a good sign that she's open to the idea of flirting with you.

Show her your sense of humor.

Having a good sense of humor can be a great asset when it comes to flirting. Making a woman laugh can help break the ice and build a connection with her. The key to humor is to make sure you stay lighthearted and playful. Avoid humor that “punches down” at the expense of other people. Avoid making fun of her or things she says.

Some guys like to use self-depreciating humor when they are flirting. This is a double-edged sword. If you are a naturally confident and intimidating person, self-depreciating humor can ease the tension and make you more approachable. If you are less naturally confident, these kinds of jokes can be off-putting.

Have fun!

Flirting should be fun and lighthearted, so don't take it too seriously. Just enjoy the moment and let the conversation flow naturally. It’s easy for some guys to get in their heads when flirting. If you keep these rules in mind, there’s really no wrong way to do it. Everyone is different, so experiment and see what works for you!

Flirting can be a fun and enjoyable experience as long as you keep in mind your faith and the values that it promotes. By being confident and respectful, you can build a connection that might lead to something deeper later.

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