5 Signs He's Just Not Into You (and 3 Ways To Tell That He Is!)

He is probably not into you…

Honestly, you’re brave for clicking on this article.

Sometimes it's difficult to tell if a guy you like just wants to be friends or if he likes you back. You could ask this question and get a direct answer from him. But it’s understandable if you want to look for signs first. I’ll give you five signs he’s not into you and three signs that he might be.

1. If he talks to you about other girls

If you hang out with this guy and he talks to you about other girls, it’s likely he’s not into you. It is true that occasionally guys will be interested in two girls at once. But they usually won’t talk about the girls they are interested in while around those girls.

If it happens once or twice, it could be that he isn’t thinking about it and did it on accident. But if it happens regularly, that means he probably sees you as more of a friend.

2. If he doesn’t want to hang out with you

If a guy doesn’t want to hang out with you, he is definitely not into you. This seems obvious, but it might not be obvious that he doesn’t want to hang out. Sometimes guys are being polite, or they think you are just friends. If he only hangs out with you around other people and doesn’t talk to you much when you do hang out, he’s probably not into you.

If you are hanging out one-on-one, but you are always the one initiating it, it’s likely he’s not into you. He may be under the impression that you are “just friends” and therefore cannot date. That way of thinking doesn’t make much sense, but you can’t change his mind for him. It’s probably time to move on.

3. If he keeps the relationship virtual

This one is different from the previous one. The guy in #2 was avoiding you. This guy goes out of his way to text you or FaceTime you, but never goes beyond that. He might say he wants to hang out with things like “I wish you were here right now” but he never makes the effort to take the relationship offline.

It’s possible this guy is sending every signal that he’s into you…but he is not.

If a guy is keeping you online, he’s probably not into you in any substantial way. He’s likely maintaining a “flirtationship,” just keeping you around to flirt with. If a guy is treating you like this, it’s important to define the relationship as soon as possible.

4. If he keeps the conversation short and shallow

If you do see each other in person often, but the conversations rarely go on for very long, he’s probably not into you. If you’ve noticed that when you try to turn the conversation to something deeper, he ends it quickly, that might be a sign. If you’re the one who is constantly continuing the conversation when it stalls, that might be a sign, too.

If you’re not quite sure whether he fits this description, over the next few weeks, try to see if he’ll continue conversations with you. 

5. If he treats you “like the guys”

So, let’s be clear, you are not a guy. A guy should not treat you like one. Some guys like to “masculinize” their female friends in order to keep them at arms-length. If he invites you to hang out with his guy friends or calls you “bro” or “dude” that’s a red flag. (Note: some guys call everyone “bro” or “dude.” If it turns out he does like you and you’re cool with that…by all means. Date him.)

He might be into you…

Of course, there are a few signs that he is into you. These are much more fun. If you think the guy you like is into you, have a conversation with him.

1. If he is put-together when he is around you

Some guys really care about their appearance. All guys care about their appearance when they know they’re going to see a girl they like. If you notice he’s usually better dressed around you than when he’s around other people, he might be into you.

Of course, if you’re not around how can you tell? You could tell by going to an event when he didn’t know you were going to be there. Or if he has Instagram or Snapchat, you can see what he looks like when he’s just posting on his story.

You may have heard guys fix their hair when they see a girl they like. That might be true for some, but it’s not a hard and fast rule.

2. If he tries to impress you

If a guy tries to impress you, he’s probably into you. But this looks different for each guy. Every guy has something about themselves they are good at and they are proud of. A guy who is really proud of his athletic ability might do ridiculous stunts when he knows you’re around. A guy who knows a lot about something may try to tell you all about it.

Whatever it is, if a guy tries to impress you with what he’s good at, he’s probably into you.

3. If he makes time to be with you

This last one is the biggest signal that he’s into you. If a guy is consistently trying to hang out with you or be around you, he’s into you. If a guy likes you, he will make the effort and take the initiative to be around you. If not, he might not like you.

Either way, if you’re on the fence as to whether he likes you, don’t just make assumptions. Ask him to have a conversation where you define the relationship. In everything, communication is key.