Ladies, Here's How to Attract Mr. Right!

Not connecting with men you like?

So you joined CatholicMatch excited to start mingling in crowds of eligible men and . . . well, at this point, you might be disappointed. When you expected fireworks, you instead found a soggy box of matches. Where you envisioned starring in The Bachelorette, you instead found yourself on Gilligan’s Island. Why can’t you seem to find anyone you actually like?! 

Ladies, don’t let your disappointment delete your profile. It’s normal to have high hopes for the online dating world, and then feel let down. Often, we expect websites and apps to offer a magic cure for singleness or a host of Prince Charmings all eager to date us. In reality, online dating is just another place to meet singles. And yes, sometimes it can feel like you can’t find anyone you actually want to go out with.

What’s a girl to do?

Wait it out.

A string of uninteresting matches is a real thing, and usually, it has to do with timing. People often join online dating during specific times of the year—such as Christmastime, the New Year, Valentine’s Day, or summer break. And then, in between those popular seasons, things tend to slow down. You might find that your conversations dry up, or there is nobody new to message, or nobody interesting seems to cross your screen.

That’s okay! It happens to all online daters, and there’s nothing wrong with you for hitting a dull patch. A good option here is to be patient for a few months. New people will inevitably join, or someone might message you who you never happened to see before.

Until one of these happens, you can minimize how much time you spend online dating, or even take a short break if your spirits are truly weary.

Consider your own criteria.

High hopes can be dashed by our own short-sightedness. Are you searching for people just in your hometown, city, or state? Are you chatting with matches who are within just two years of your age? Only interested in blondes, doctors, or runners?

You could be limiting your own potential in romance simply by not keeping the door open for God! We have all heard about keeping your standards and expectations realistic. It’s probably time to double-check your own. Being more open-minded could open up whole new pools of people to talk to.

And you never know where a spark might fly! So branch out a little bit, let go of “my type,” expand your search a few miles, and see who you might have been missing before.

You might be spending TOO much time online.

If you are spending hours every single day scrolling through profiles on CatholicMatch, you could be shooting yourself in the foot. Spending all your time hunting through profiles won’t lead to good connections or conversations. Instead, it breeds romantic perfectionism through thinking “the grass is always greener.”

Why bother to give Mr. Pretty Good a chance when you could be looking for Mr. Perfect around the corner?! Spoiler: Mr. Perfect doesn’t exist, no matter how many profiles you sift through. Instead of window shopping profiles, you should be focusing on real conversation.

Spend your online dating time responding to messages and finding mutual interest for phone calls and dates. That’s where a real connection will show itself, after all!

Are you putting out the right signals?

Your profile could very well be turning great matches away. Do a little review of it, and see if you have any of these common mistakes women on CatholicMatch can fall into. Revamp your bio, add current pictures, and see if this new welcome mat attracts any better matches.

If you’re not quite sure what your profile looks like to the male eye, enlist some help! A friend or brother could have valuable advice on what a guy might see. (Also, as a side note, don’t try to make your profile please everyone. You should definitely create your profile yourself and be truthful about who you are. This advice is simply to do some easy profile troubleshooting!)

You could be judging men too fast . . . or too slow.

Let’s say you haven’t met anybody you like in six months. But, when was the last time you actually went on a real-life date? It can be too easy to dismiss men based on their profile or a few stilted messages. If this is you, stop making quick decisions based on messages, and instead do more video chats, phone calls, and first dates.

On the flip side, are you giving every online match weeks or months of your time? Or perhaps three, four, or even five dates in, you still can’t make a decision on whether or not to keep seeing each other? You might have the problem of not making a judgment call fast enough, and this keeps you too bogged down to move forward. If this is you, consider playing the field more, or setting a limit on how often or long you will talk to a potential date before deciding it’s time to move on.

Finally, don’t be afraid to take your disappointment to prayer. Not everything goes how we plan, and that’s okay! God has a plan for you, even if it doesn’t look how you want it to look right now. Trust Him and follow His lead. It will be better than anything you’ve planned anyway!