5 Online Dating Profile Mistakes Women Make

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Writing a profile is hard.

It’s your key to entering the online dating pool, and you want it to be a key to unlock the right connections. But maybe you’re having some issues . . . that just might be caused by some classic mistakes on your profile.

Maybe you find yourself getting a bunch of views but no messages, or a bunch of messages from people who seem like total mismatches, or perhaps people have some weird assumptions about you which seem totally off base, or you’re just getting no messages, period.

Your profile might just be the problem! Check out these common mistakes women make when creating their online dating profile:

1. Inauthentic pictures.

I’m just going to say it—photos are the first thing a man looks at on your profile. A picture says a thousand words, right? (For good or for bad, I might add.) This means you want your pictures to reflect who you are, not an airbrushed version of what you wished you looked like. If your photos have Instagram filters, are only selfies, are badly lit, or are super outdated, you might have to rethink things. You want your pictures to be free of photoshop!

Sure, wear some makeup, dress cute, and get a few nice shots of yourself. But then add in some candids, or some pictures of you with your family, or doing your favorite passion project. This is a much better snapshot of who you are as a person—overly costumed, posed, or edited photos are going to come across as shallow and insecure.

Also, a special note: if there are other men in your photos, make sure to explain who they are. For online daters, it’s very easy to assume pictured men could be exes, friendzoned guys, or real-life competitors. This doesn’t make you look popular, it makes you look careless with your relationships. So just say who the men are, even if it’s obviously your dad or brother.

2. “Heart dumping,” a.k.a. putting in waaaaaay too much detail.

After twelve paragraphs of information about yourself, people are going to stop reading. It’s okay to leave some mystery, and brevity can be your friend! You don’t need to fill out every suggested question on the dating profile. In fact, leave some out! Also, refrain from going into details about your emotional, mental, or spiritual journeys in life. There is NO NEED to share your heart with the Internet! It is not healthy to put everything about yourself and your struggles out there.

A profile is simply meant to be a snapshot of who you are, not a therapy session or a grand dissertative diary. Do not go into detail about your sordid romantic history, air your ex’s dirty laundry, or pour out your woes onto a dating profile. Would you say those things to someone you just met at a party, or the cute new guy at Mass? Of course not. Instead, think about what you would say or talk about to someone you met in real life, and then write about that.

3. Making a list of what you want (or don’t want) in a man.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of listing out the qualities you want in a future spouse. There’s a reason you shouldn’t do it, though. Everyone who views your profile will compare themselves to your list, and usually, they will pass on messaging you. Why? They assume you are closed-off to anyone who doesn’t match everything on your list.

It’s fine to mention two or three imperatives, like having a strong faith and loving kids. It’s also easy to get into a detailed list of what you won’t settle for. Go ahead and write out this list somewhere else, but don’t post it online. Overall, remember to curb your profile before it starts explaining your demands and dreams for what your perfect spouse will look like. You don’t even know who God has in mind for you! Instead, focus on what you can bring to the table...

4. Forgetting your own passions.

This is surprisingly a common thing to forget! I think the culprit here is when writing a profile, it’s really easy to write about “here’s how I want to date” instead of “here’s who I am.” Focus on writing who you are, and what makes you YOU! Your online profile should be a snapshot of you right now: what you love to do, who you are, and what makes you tick. Include some of the basic information like your faith, your job, and where you live.

But don’t be afraid to chat a little about your hobbies, your family life, and your favorite activities. A great way to do this is to take the CatholicMatch personality type test and to include a few of your favorite things in the suggested categories. If your profile offers no information whatsoever about who you are as a person, other than just that you’re a single Catholic, it’s going to be extremely forgettable.

5. Being negative.

Nothing is more of a turn-off than a Debbie Downer. (If your name is Debbie, I apologize—I don’t write for SNL.) Don’t bemoan your singleness, your age, your loneliness, or whatever else is going on. Yes, eventually those things might come up in conversation, but that’s the first time they should come up. There’s no need to complain about your life in your profile, it’s such a big turn-off!

Everyone wants to be with someone who has a good attitude. Positivity is attractive, and making the best of things is a great way to show you are game for whatever comes your way. A positive attitude makes a great welcome mat for potential suitors!

See? It’s so easy to fall into these common traps.

The good news is, it’s pretty easy to climb back out of them again. Dust off your profile, make a few little changes and steer clear of these classic mistakes. Then sit back, reach out to a few new people, and see what a difference a good profile can make!

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