How to Take Your Dating Profile From Average to Amazing!

A little over a year ago, I did something brave—I invested my time and money into working with a dating coach. A dear friend of mine who is a life coach had come across this female teacher, and I decided to invest in myself in a new way and see what I could learn.

In working with this mentor named Barbie, one of the things she helped me with was rework and consider how I was creating my online dating profile. I began to learn how to connect more to my heart and express how I feel when I do the things I love.

I began to learn to focus on how my interests, passions, and hobbies make me FEEL. I started to learn how to infuse descriptive language into my sentences and use specific examples. 

For example, it might sound something like: “Every Sunday you can find me relaxing with my family over a giant roast (pass the mint jelly!) and defending my title as the reigning champion.”

Show rather than tell. Using a string of adjectives to describe oneself is not terribly engaging and actually deflects intimacy with a man. 

All that being said, here are some of the questions I have used to help connect me to my heart as I work on creating or updating my own dating profile:

What are your favorite things to do and how do they make you feel?

Think about the things you love to do that bring you the most joy...make you feel so happy. For me, it would be my axe-throwing league or going to my improv class. Using feeling language helps a man connect to what you are saying.

What are your favorite foods and what do they connect you to? (Feeling-wise or memory-wise)

Think about your favorite foods and what they make you think about. What I have written for this question before is something like: “I love the taste of savory Mexican food with a fruity glass of sangria…if you know the best place for street tacos, I’m all ears!”

What’s your favorite place to travel to and why do you love that?

Think about your favorite travel memory or experience. What did you love about it? What made it most meaningful? Share that from your heart—and leave an opening for a man to ask you more about the experience. "My happiest travel experience was visiting Ireland—make sure you ask me about the time I climbed a mountain and the unique souvenir I brought home!”

What tradition with your family brings you the most joy and why?

Think about your favorite family memories and traditions—which ones feel the most meaningful or special. How can you share about them?

What is someone or something you always stop for on the street (a homeless person to give your change to, when you see an ice cream shop, when you see a puppy, etc.)

This paints the visual of what it’s like to walk with you. With this question, you want to give a person a sense of your personality and what types of things you feel passionate about. Is it serving animals in a homeless shelter or always making sure to thank your restaurant server by their name? These little tidbits can say a lot about us.

What are your short preferences?

Are there certain things you love and feel so excited about? A specific team or show you love, nature vs city, beer vs wine, or any others you want to write about? Maybe it's a particular sports team, TV show, or style of music. 

What are 3 things about you that no one knows?

This is one of my favorite questions! Let your unique personality shine through—what are the special things about you most people would not know at a glance? For me, it would be the fact that if you really get me laughing, sometimes I will giggle-snort.

What is the favorite thing you feel about yourself?

What do you love about yourself, just how God made you perfectly as you are? Make a list, do not be afraid to hold back on this! You want your personality to shine through in your profile, so don’t be bashful!

In addition to these questions, consider doing a free-write exercise to help get more in touch with your heart as you work on your dating profile. Set a timer for 10 or 15 minutes. Just start writing all the things that you love most about your unique, beautiful self—don’t think about the profile or dating apps right now, just answer the question, have fun with it, and see where it goes.

What comes up as you write? What kinds of patterns do you notice, or what types of things stand out to you? Use your answers as a guide to sharing some interesting things about yourself in your profile.

Take some time to sit with and reflect on these questions if you feel your profile needs a touch-up. See what happens, you might be surprised!