Why the Divine Mercy Chaplet Is the Perfect Post-Divorce Devotion

I remember when the Divine Mercy chaplet and its message first became a “thing” in the Church. I will be honest with you for a moment...back then, I only really liked praying it because it was shorter than praying the Rosary.

If my mom were to suggest a family rosary in the evening one night, I’d often pipe up with some witty response, “Well Mom, we could always pray that other prayer that is said on the Rosary beads.” Eventually she caught on that I wanted to pray the chaplet merely because it was shorter.

I sometimes chuckle recalling that story, because as I maneuvered through my new life post-divorce and waited for a decision from the marriage tribunal about my pending annulment, I very much relied on my faith and relationship with Jesus to get me through it all.

Why did I fall in love with the Divine Mercy Chaplet after my divorce?

At 31 years old, I had come to a point of my faith journey where my faith was my own and I knew Jesus personally. While there many spiritual practices I sought comfort in, it was the Divine Mercy message, specifically the chaplet, that was the best devotion for me after my divorce.

And I will be so bold as to say that it is a devotion that would be most helpful for those navigating a new life post-divorce.

First of all, it is a simple message of love directly from the Heart of Jesus to you, personally and intimately. I think of it almost as love letter written from the Heart of Jesus to each of us.

And secondly, but primarily, mercy can be a difficult to extend or show to your former spouse. Forgiving your former spouse and internally cultivating a heart of mercy to him or her may be very difficult or even painful, but I think it is one of the most powerful things you can do in your own healing journey.

Through praying the chaplet, God revealed the depth of His mercy for me and revealed how much mercy I needed to show my former spouse too.

I get that this idea is not necessarily easy or even something you want to do. I know because I felt the same way. But what I came to realize for myself was that if I didn’t extend mercy and truly forgive my former husband, the pain, hurt, and resentment would eventually overwhelm me.

I had to beg God for the desire to even want to forgive him. After being abused and deeply hurt by addiction in my marriage, for a time, I felt justified in my pain. I had a right to be mad because of how I was treated.

And so I started begging Jesus for the desire to forgive, for the grace, including internally, to show mercy to him. I started truly praying the chaplet of Divine Mercy in a way I never had done. When I felt angry or bitter, I just asked Jesus to give me the desire to forgive…yes, even sometimes through gritted teeth and clenched fists.

My path to forgiveness and mercy was not always quick or easy. In fact, it was hard.

I am not about to tell you there was this instantaneous turn around of my heart. There were plenty of days I would have rather seen a semi truck back over my former husband. But I kept leaning in to Jesus; I kept coming back to the font of mercy itself.

The more I prayed, “Have mercy on us and on the whole world,” the more God was slowly softening my heart.

I realized not choosing forgiveness and mercy would mean that the level of mercy I showed to my former husband was the degree to which Jesus would show me His mercy. Now of course, forgiving and being merciful does not mean justifying or nullifying the horrible things you may have faced or endured. It means you are asking God to handle the justification, and for Him to heal those wounds.

Eventually, the desire to forgive grew in my weak little heart. I began to ask Jesus to help me see my former spouse through the eyes Jesus sees him. And I had thought just praying for the desire was tough?! This was much more difficult.

Do you struggle to show your former spouse mercy? Start by praying for the desire to forgive.

I do not know the terms of your divorce or the nature of your relationship with your former spouse. Maybe you have a lot of pain and trauma from the experience or your marriage. And maybe you have every right to be angry and deeply hurt by what you endured or the way you were treated.

But I do know that Jesus doesn’t want us carrying around emotional pain and baggage that is not healthy or holy for us. And not forgiving (or at least beginning to pray for that desire to forgive) your former spouse is exactly the type of baggage Jesus does not want us dragging around behind us.

What spiritual practices or devotions helped you navigate the pain of your own divorce?

What were the spiritual tools you found most helpful for you to forgive and show mercy to your former spouse?