It’s a Strange Thing to Attend Your Own Parent's Wedding

My parents divorced when I was a baby, so I have no memory of them being together.

I grew up knowing them as simply two people who both loved me but had never loved each other. 

Fifteen years ago, when I got married, my mother remarried for the first time. The weekend before my wedding, I attended hers. I was happy for her. 

According to God’s ideal design, it’s not supposed to be that way, right? Ideally, two people fall in love, get married, have children, and stay married.

But, of course, we know life doesn’t always follow the ideal design.

I always swore I’d never follow in my parents’ footsteps.

Divorce was not an option. My story would be different. But it wasn’t. My own marriage didn’t work out. After six years, everything fell apart spectacularly and we divorced. 

I was single for nearly a decade, but I met someone new and now I’m getting married again. My previous marriage was annulled, so this will be my first sacramental marriage in the Church, and we’re both determined to do it right. 

We dated and got to know each other for nearly three years. We’re taking marriage preparation classes. We recruited an older, wiser couple to mentor us. 

Here’s the strange thing...

The same month I’m getting remarried, my father is getting remarried too, for the first time since my parents’ divorce. 

He’s in his early 70s. He dated but never remarried in the 40 years since his divorce from my mom. So the weekend after my wedding, me and my new bride will be at my dad’s wedding.

That’s a lot of weddings to keep up with, isn’t it? 

Life is messy and complicated. God knows this, and the Church recognizes it too. 

If we did everything right, we wouldn’t need God. As Charlie Peacock sings:

What's going on inside of me?

I despise my own behavior

This only serves to confirm my suspicion

That I’m still a man in need of a Savior

Life is messy, but God got down into the mess with us. Jesus came into the world and showed us that grace is available. 

Jesus cried when his friend Lazarus died. He forgave Peter for denying him. He loved the rich young man who refused to follow him. His heart broke when his companion Judas betrayed him with a kiss. He refused to condemn a contrite woman caught in adultery. 

He gave her another chance. That’s what he’s still doing. 

He’s doing it with me and my second marriage, like he did with my mom’s and dad’s new relationships. He asks that we receive his forgiveness and grace, and that we go and sin no more. In other words, maybe, that we keep trying. Trying to do better this time around, and every morning we wake up. And every morning, we wake up to his renewed mercies (Lamentations 3:23).

The Bible says we are all formed from dirt. We live in the dirty tangle of life, mistakes, and broken relationships. And eventually, to dirt we will return (Genesis 3:19).

But God gets dirty too. Jesus literally spit and rubbed mud in a man’s eye to restore his sight. He scraped his finger through the dust to reprove a crowd ready to murder the adulteress. Today, he mixes it up in the mess of our lives to help us heal and do better. 

God is pure and holy, and he demands the same of us. But he knows we can’t get there without his grace and help. And he is “an ever-present help in distress” (Psalm 46:1-2).

Soon, then, I will be standing at the altar, living out my own second chance. A few days later, I’ll be sitting in a church watching my father live out his too. 

Yes, it’s a strange thing to be at your own parent’s wedding. But it’s a thing of grace too. God is with us. That’s the gospel. That’s good news indeed.