Have you ever listened to a song that you felt was written for you?
Sad songs can help us through hard times.
After my divorce, I would jog around my neighborhood listening to songs on my iPod. As I was crunching through the snow on a dreary day, one song spoke to me. It was “Whiskey Dreams” by a Texas musician named David Gregory. It was about a failed relationship.
Looking back, the road was long
We were young and full of songs
But this is not a race that’s won by most…
As I jogged through the streets, I related to the words.
Every night I fall asleep
To find you in my whiskey dreams
You have gone and left me with your ghost…
How many nights had I gone to sleep trying to numb the pain? Here was a guy who was putting words to my experience. His lyrics spoke to what I was feeling…
I turn the ignition
There’s nowhere to go
The city is empty
And you were my home
All at once, my future’s gone…
That’s how I felt too. The marriage, the relationship, the life I had invested in, was gone now.
I slip away with one more dream
To find you in my whiskey dreams
You have gone and left me with your ghost…
By then, several years after my divorce, my former wife felt like a ghost. A person I’d once lived and loved with, but who was now gone, a phantom from my past.
I needed this song at that time in my life. It reminded me I was not alone, that someone else had suffered and felt what I was feeling.
Your lipstick on my favorite scarf
And kisses left behind like scars…
Yes, like the songwriter, I still had possessions from our shared past. Old photos, a wristwatch she’d bought me, shared medals we’d earned from running half-marathons together. They were all kisses left behind like scars on my heart.
I ran through the swirling snow and felt grateful for that song that was speaking to my heart.
But here’s the thing about sad songs. They don’t have to stay sad forever.
As your life changes, so do the meanings of the songs that helped you through the hard times.
As the years went by, I prayed and searched inwardly about what had gone wrong in my failed marriage. I faced my failures and asked forgiveness, from God and from my ex. My first marriage wasn’t going to be restored, but I would learn from it. I would find a measure of healing and peace. Our marriage was annulled and we would both move on, scarred but stronger and better.
Recently, I listened to the song “Whiskey Dreams” again. It was still beautiful and poignant. But its meaning had changed for me. I still related to the sense of sadness and loss over a failed relationship. But there was a new twist to my story now.
Since those days of jogging through the snow, I had found a new woman. She understood and accepted my past. She gave me a chance at loving again. So now I feel differently when I hear the following lyrics…
Looking back, the road was long
We were young and full of songs
But this is not a race that’s won by most…
Many marriages fail, but just as many endure.
Yes, my first wife and I were young and full of songs, but couldn’t make our marriage work. But I don’t believe anymore that marriage “is not a race that’s won by most.” Countless couples make marriage work and stay together through unimaginable circumstances. Through good times and bad, it’s a race that’s won by many.
So take comfort from the sad songs when you need them. But know that sad songs may change as your life progresses. God wants good things for you ahead.
Your life can change and better things await.
Be grateful for the sad songs that speak to your situation. Let them speak to you and comfort you. But also look forward to the times when those sad songs no longer speak to your situation because God has provided a new way.
“Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not; See, I am doing something new! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? In the wilderness I make a way, in the wasteland, rivers” (Isaiah 43: 18-19).
