Your Morals Are Not Ridiculous

34

If you try to live by Judeo Christian standards of sexual morality, people are going to tell you that you're ridiculous.

Like this middle-aged guy who told my young adult daughter that she ought to be out picking up guys in bars and bringing them home. "It's healthy!" He was aghast that anyone young and single and cute like her would not be interested in that lifestyle. What a waste!

The guy is not alone in thinking this way. That is what we have been told ever since the sexual revolution. Sexual freedom is a human right, a health benefit, a key to happiness. All the images on TV confirm it. Young, single, available, beautiful—go for it! Everyone is having a great time. If you don't you must be crazy!

Single people who don't buy into it often face ridicule from not just strangers—where you might expect it—but from friends, family, and co-workers. You can't just walk away like my daughter could. You have to see these people every day. What do you do?

You should have a plan.

It will help you to deal with it if you see it coming and have a prepared response. St. Francis de Sales, who was called the gentle doctor but was also a fearless defender of orthodoxy, said you should anticipate things that could go wrong so you can deal with them. Peace lies in preparation.

With that in mind, here are a few strategies.

Draw a firm boundary.

If you are a nice person who does not like confrontation, sometimes people think they can say whatever they want to you. You do not have to let them. You might not want to fight but you also do not have to sit there and take it. You can get up and walk away.

Say a prayer for the person on your way out the door. And don't feel like you are copping out. Sometimes silence and a refusal to engage speaks louder than words.

Argue back with confidence.

You happen to be right. The evidence is all around out. It's the people who save sex for the covenant of marriage and are faithful after that who are the healthy ones. This lifestyle drastically lowers your risk of STDs, date rape, abortion, and divorce. Casual sex has casualties. The guy confronting my daughter was probably one of them.

Broken hearts are all around us so much so that people don't even recognize them for what they are. This is another reason to pray for your persecutors. They are wounded and trying to heal themselves with the very thing that is wounding them. Realizing this will help you get over your anger towards them and love them as Jesus commanded.

Arguing with someone and loving them at the same time is hard especially because they probably won't listen. So it seems.

Concentrate on winning even a small victory.

For example, you could argue that diversity of opinion is supposed to be a good thing, right? If they can live the way they want, why can't you live the way you want?

This is basic logic. It may seem like a small thing but it could be the beginning of helping someone think differently.

Because that's what these conversations are really about. People don't really want to talk about you and how ridiculous your Judeo Christian values are. They are really talking about themselves. Something is not working for them and deep down they know it. This is a big opportunity for you to tell the person the truth for the person's sake.

A small point gained is still a victory for the truth. It plants a seed that you can water with your prayers. Get this, you can even offer up how annoying they are and make that a prayer for them. Remember how St. Stephen offered up his death for the guys who killed him? One of them was Saul who later became the great St. Paul who preached the gospel far and wide.

This is who we are and it is awesome. So go ahead and witness whichever way you think you can—whether it is by drawing a boundary or by engaging in the conversation. Trust God for the rest.

Finally, remember that you are confirmed.

Jesus knew how hard it would be for us to live in the world but not be of it. But he wanted us not to see it just as a struggle but as an opportunity. So he sent his Holy Spirit at Pentecost to make us courageous in faith and joyful in hope and fulfilled in love. Take heart, his way is the real way to love. He should know because he is love itself.

Find Your Forever.

CatholicMatch is the largest and most trusted
Catholic dating site in the world.

Get Started for Free!CatholicMatch
— This article has been read 2144 times —