How Lent Prepares Us to Love

Lent and love are not often connected together.

Nothing about sackcloth and ashes really speaks to our perception of what love is all about! Yet, in many ways, Lent teaches us so much about authentic love.

Here are a few examples:

1. Lent teaches us that sacrifice is necessary in relationships

The forty-day period of Lent teaches us all about the meaning of sacrifice. Fasting, prayer, penance, and almsgiving help us detach from the world, and remind us that our true worth and value comes not in living for the self, but in joining our hearts, minds, and bodies to Christ.

The theme of sacrifice in Lent also applies beautifully to human love, because in love, we are called to will the good of the other. It’s hard to do this when we are focused inward! It can be quite a challenge to prioritize our loved one’s goods above any selfish desires of our own, including lustful passions, selfish impulses, pride, and ego.

It’s when we seek to die to self in our relationships, sacrificing for the sake of another rather than for our own personal good, that we better imitate what it means to love as Christ loves.

2. Lent is a reminder that love involves both repentance and forgiveness

Lent is a great time to work on eradicating bad habits and sinful attachments that get in the way of our relation to God. Since sin separates us from Him, the Sacrament of Reconciliation is the way in which we find our way back to Him. Not only do we receive the grace to move on from our attachments to sin, but we also grow closer to God.

Authentic love requires us to grow in humility, be willing to fess up when we make a mistake, and work hard to repair any damage we cause when we hurt the ones we love.

3. Lent helps us learn the importance of obedience in love 

During Lent, we are called to practice willful obedience to the Father in the imitation of Christ. Through prayer, fasting, and almsgiving, we grow closer to the Lord and learn to more easily obey his commands so that we may accomplish his will in our lives.

Learning obedience in love of God is also crucial for human love. Though the word “obedience” has a negative connotation in today’s world (especially with regards to love), the Christian meaning of it is rooted in a mutual self-gift. In marriage, when a man willingly submits to his woman in an imitation of Christ, and a woman does the same for her man, together they become a beautiful expression of authentic love.

Patience, compassion, willingness to listen, giving the benefit of the doubt, and (in marriage) living for the sake of the other–all of these are ways in which we can act on behalf of the one we love, offering our lives as a gift to them.

4. Lent teaches us the importance of performing acts of charity in relationships

Charity is above all a mode of participating in God’s act of love. During Lent, we are called to go outside of ourselves, seeking to share God’s love with others through our actions.

In relationships, we choose to love charitably when we say to our loved one, “I will try to make you happy, I will try to serve you, I will make your good my priority.”

We can be charitable to the person we love by showering them with kindness, tending to their needs without looking for recognition, and always acting with their good in mind.

5. Lent is a reminder that love helps us grow in holiness

Lent is ultimately a calling for us to grow in holiness, which is attained through grace and through the practice of virtue. We grow in holiness when we say yes to God’s will in all things, at all times, and in all places. Ultimately, holiness is living as God created us to live.

Similarly, human love is a calling to grow in holiness. In a relationship (particularly in marriage), when a man and a woman love as God created them to love, together they will surely grow closer to God and grow profoundly in the sharing of his divine life.

When we seek to live not for ourselves in marriage, work to uplift and uphold the dignity of our spouse, strive for good and live for God, pray together, and place Christ at the center of our lives, we become better able to love and be loved, and thus grow in holiness!

Want some more help to live Lent well this year? Check out our Lentsanity resources here.