Let’s get right to the good stuff today.
Here’s a list of dating hacks to streamline your romantic life. (You might be surprised at some of the suggestions, and why they could work for you!)
General Dating Hacks: (I won’t go into detail; you probably know these three already!)
- Narrow your dating pool to those who fit your standards. It’s always smart to date people whose values, faith, and standards (not preferences!) line up with your own.
- Play the field. Talking to a variety of people at the same time gives you more romantic potential and a better online dating experience!
- When you’re unsure, give it another chance. So you’re on the fence over a stilted phone call, an awkward video chat, or a boring first date. First date jitters can cause all kinds of tension, so your best bet is to give your date another shot and see what happens.
Dating Profile Hacks: (Amp up your online game with these ideas!)
- Tell a story in your profile. Usually this is more interesting than listing out what you like or what you want. My sister ran across someone online whose entire profile consisted of a misadventure involving a Wii remote, a lightswitch, and a TV he managed to shatter while playing a video game. That’s waaaaay more memorable than a list of favorite songs!
- Leave your profile wanting more. You don’t have to fill out every section in great detail—in fact, many people won’t read the whole thing, anyway. That’s what messaging and video chat is for, to get to know each other! Your profile doesn’t need to be your life’s resume. (My husband’s profile consisted of three sentences, by the way.) Try a short and sweet profile and see where it gets you.
- List out a few make-it-or-break-it on your profile, to help people weed themselves out if needed. Maybe you state straight out, “I’m not interested in dating divorcees.” Or “I’m looking for a slow-paced relationship so my children can get used to a new person in their lives. “ You could also do this in fun: “Will not eat Mexican food on a first date.” “Must be this height or taller to apply.”
- Consult a friend of the opposite gender on the photos you put on your profile. It’s important to have updated pictures, we all know. Getting the other gender’s advice on which photos to pick offers some insight on what others might be seeing in your photo. You don’t have to follow their advice, but it’s worth considering what they have to say!
Breaking The Rules Hacks: (Rules are made to be broken, right?)
- When in doubt, go bold! If you’re unsure of what to do, pick the bold choice, because it usually gives you a solid answer. For example, if you’re not feeling any connection to someone over messaging, you have the option of letting the conversation peter out, or invite them to video chat. Or, if you had an okay first date, you can either let the person slide out of your life, or ask them straight up to go out again. In both situations, the bold second option offers answers instead of ambiguity!
- Skip a step in the process (if there’s a reason). Maybe you’re from the same town or know a bunch of the same people: ask for a phone number in your second message. Or maybe you jump right to a CatholicMatch video call right off the bat, because you put “I don’t like messaging” right on your profile. You can skip a step or two in the online dating process, if following the normal message to phone to video process is weighing a specific conversation down.
- After a first date, tell the other person what you thought about it. Games like waiting three days after the date, him having to text first, etc., are just that: games. If you had a really fun time on that date, text him and tell him so. If you would rather see other people, tell her nicely on the phone. It’s always more efficient to share your thoughts than to wait in limbo for the other person to make a decision.
Make Yourself Shine Hacks: (“Just be yourself!”)
- Know how to write a good first message, and practice writing lots of them. If you’re not sure how, here’s a crash course: pick out one detail from the other person’s profile, comment on it, and make sure it’s playful. Keep it to as few sentences as you can stand. You’ll be surprised how much your messages improve with brevity!
- Make a first impression. It doesn’t matter so much how good your first impression is—just make an impression of some sort. Maybe it’s picking the cheesiest profile photo you can find. Perhaps you answer the first phone call by singing. I read a Success Story once where the lady dressed in full Arwen Undomiel garb to pick up her first date from the airport. (It worked; they’re married now!) First impressions make you memorable, so don’t be afraid to be outside the box!
- Always try for pleasant endings. Most online conversations and dating relationships will end with parted ways. Do your best to make those separations pleasant! Why? First, dating is a grown up game, and throwing a tantrum over a bad first date is childish. Second, you never know who knows who. I can’t tell you how many people have met their spouse through friends, through a blind date, or through someone else’s first date who thought, “So and so would be a perfect fit for this person!” Cultivating a good romantic reputation will only work in your favor!
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