Are You Husband Material? Here Are 7 Husband-Like Qualities to Consider
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To all single men, preparing for your vocation to marriage starts now.
While taking on the role of “husband” may seem like a far-off dream at this point in life, did you know that there are many traits you already possess—or can develop—which translate well into marriage?
Focusing now on these “husband skills” not only prepares you for the vocation of marriage, but also helps you stand out in the dating world. Husband-like qualities in a guy are like the bat signal: they flash on women’s radar that you are in fact, “husband material.”
So what are these skills, traits, or abilities of men that make them “husband-y”?
Well, I asked a group of happily married women (including myself!) to share the qualities of their husbands that they most admire. And honestly, men, this list is golden! I can’t wait for you to see what traits you might already have—or can grow in—that will help you attract and prepare for your future wife.
But first, a quick caveat: if one were to put all of the qualities on this list together into one man, that man would be Jesus. Keep in mind, this is not an exhaustive list, and it is not all-encompassing.
Do not look at this list and think you’re a total failure for not possessing all of these qualities, and do not try to become all these things at once. Utilize this list firstly as a discernment tool to see if you’re doing the right things in your life now to prepare you for marriage. And, if there are some skills on this list that you can reasonably hone, it might just help you catch the eye of your future wife!
7 Husband-Like Qualities That Women Admire
Since there were many wives polled with this question, there are undoubtedly some overlapping qualities. I took their answers and categorized them into seven different qualities. Each point comes with some further examples or explanations directly from the wives to help you understand how to concretely put them into practice.
1. Desires to Grow in Holiness
Strives to grow spiritually, shows potential to lead his family in the faith, strives for a consistent prayer life, makes spiritual life a priority.
2. Character and Integrity
Not afraid of conflict, able to make fraternal corrections directly and charitably, steady, patient, humble. Knows how to fast! Much of marriage includes self denial…Especially NFP.
3. Safe and Secure
Willing to suffer with or carry additional burdens for spouse, attentive to others’ needs, ability to be fully present, giving and compassionate, courageous.
Dependable. He says he will be there, he is; he says he will call, he does.
Servant-hearted: putting others’ needs ahead of his own. Helping around the house while married is more of a display of servant-leadership than anything.
4. Willing to Learn
Knows how to be handy or is willing to find a way to fix things, even if it means having the humility to hire someone. Some guys are just not handy, and that’s okay! But can you recognize a need when you see it, and do what it takes to resolve the issue?
Learns to cook and do laundry. You don’t know what suffering or sickness may come your way in marriage. I have two friends with health issues and it’s such a blessing to them that their husbands can keep things rolling.
5. Hard-Working
Disciplined. One of my favorite stories was someone who was discerning if they should propose to their girlfriend while in college. They asked their spiritual director his thoughts, and his immediate question was, “do you make your bed daily?” And when my friend said no, his spiritual director said, “then you’re not ready to get married...” Obviously, this is oversimplified, but it speaks to a person’s need to have a certain level of discipline and virtue for marriage.
Focused on your future, ambitious yet realistic. If you want a stay-at-home or part-time working wife, a bunch of kids, private schooling, a house with yard, or whatever other ideals, working for that financial stability starts now.
6. Ability to Be a Strong Leader
Possesses time management skills, is decisive and steady, calculated and thoughtful. Women tend to think and analyze and go back and forth. That is good in its place, but having that steady presence is so important.
My husband reads a ton of business books on leadership and management, and many of the ideas have translated well into his spiritual leadership in the home, especially with teenagers.
7. Personality
A sense of humor, adventurous. Takes interest in things! Hobbies, interests, and skills are attractive. Enjoying yourself is attractive!
Comfortable with kids, even without much prior experience. My husband never grew up with little siblings or cousins, but he always took the chance to interact with children while we were dating. I remember thinking how great a father he would make… and I was right!
Well men, hopefully, this list gives you the courage and conviction you need to pursue your future wife. Pick a couple of qualities to grow in, don’t hide the ones that you already have, and gain more confidence in the dating world!
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