Men Are Protectors: What That Looks Like For Today's Man
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“Better to be a Warrior in a Garden, than a Gardener in a War”
Many attribute this quote to Sun Tzu, who wrote “The Art of War”, though we don’t know for sure. The premise behind it is that it is better to know violence and not need it, than to be helpless and need it.
We’ve been conditioned to view force of any kind as bad, but like most any tool or emotion, it’s not evil in and of itself, it’s how we use it. As a man, it is in our nature, and is our duty, to protect. As we prepare ourselves for marriage, it is important that we have learned how to protect ourselves spiritually, and are able to provide security and safety for our future spouse and family.
“There are no safe places, silly hobbits!” - Gollum, The Return of the King
If I remember right, Gollum says this to Frodo and Sam as they are hiding in the swamps before Mordor. Or maybe it's Ithilien. Unfortunately, the world has become just this. We have been taught that force has no place in a civilized society, and that we don’t need to worry about danger. I think over the last twenty years, we’ve seen this is not the case.
We live in a world where people have been dragged from their cars and beaten, simply for a bumper sticker. Others have been attacked for wearing a hat. Kids have been victimized by evil or sick classmates. Riots have turned downtowns into apocalyptic movie scenes. I don’t mean to be an alarmist, but we are our own safety measure. Once we realize this, and we take our duty as protectors seriously, it leads us to the conclusion we should be able to stop these events, right?
“People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” - George Orwell
Despite the stigma of force, the talk of toxic masculinity, and the push for more “civilized” men, I’ve been hard put to find a woman who doesn’t say she wants to feel protected and safe with their husband. Now, providing not just a feeling of safety, but actually providing it, is something we single men can do both in preparation for marriage, and in our duty as men in the single life.
First, we start physically. No matter our height, weight, build, or health, there are things we can do. Being as physically in shape as we can be is the goal. Maybe that’s a process due to health issues, or unhealthy living. Start today! Think about it, strength doesn’t have to mean an attack, what if there is a fire? A car wreck? An accident? Can you get your family out of the home/car/situation, or will you run out of breath or are too weak to carry them?
Second, we need knowledge. Take a martial arts class. Take a self-defense class. A defensive driving class. Learn how to fix common car issues. Discover some basic survival skills. Learn to shoot. Take a first aid class. These will lead to greater confidence in yourself, will make you a better man, and you’ll have that attraction for your future spouse covered!
“Those who 'abjure' violence can do so only because others are committing violence on their behalf.” - George Orwell
Our military and Law Enforcement keeps many of the wolves at bay. They sacrifice so much for us to have a collective feeling of safety. But even they can’t be everywhere all the time! We covered some physical aspects of protection, let’s talk about the awareness and mental side. When you are walking down the street, what do you focus on? Are you checking your phone for texts? While eating at a restaurant, are you burying your head in a phone? Do you find yourself sitting on a park bench, looking down to check a message or headline, and look up realizing that five minutes have passed?
This is a lack of awareness on our part. Things can happen in seconds, and we just lost five minutes by staring at our phones! We have no idea what just happened around us. This may seem to be over the top, but hear me out... Awareness of our situation, where we are, and what is going around us is a must in protecting ourselves, our family, or others. Take a moment to stop and think. Practice will make this second nature.
When you walk into a store or restaurant, take a moment to assess the atmosphere.
Do you know where the doors are located? Keep an eye on the road behind you while driving. I was taught in driver's ed to take the time to mentally run through situations, especially concerning winter driving. What happens if you lose control? If you are sliding? If you see ice or are driving through heavy snow?
If you have rehearsed in your mind, you will react quickly if the situation comes up. We can do the same here. Think about how you would react to a fire in your home, a home invasion, what you do if someone was screaming for help in the local park, or if you saw a robbery. There are places that offer training in the scenarios running on computer programs that offer you real-world conundrums that you can learn from in a controlled setting.
“I always believe in being prepared, even when I’m dressed in white tie and tails." - George Patton
Preparation is essential for basically any aspect of life. Being here on this site and reading these articles, we are preparing for our vocations. We should be prepared in real life as well.
To that end, a first aid kit should always be on hand! There are many options out there that will fit in your standard cargo pocket. Having one in the car is a great idea as well. You are far more likely to see or experience a skinned knee or accident than be in a fight or self-defense situation, so this is a great place to start. Even if you don’t know how to use all the contents, just having them may allow someone else at the scene who has the knowledge but not the tools handy to help!
In your home, have a store of food, water, and fuel for if the electricity goes out due to a natural disaster, or if supply chains are interrupted for some reason. There are a million things to think about, but hopefully, this gets you going!
Don’t neglect the spiritual side!
We’ve talked about the material realm, but the spiritual side is even more important. There’s a wide range of things to consider under this umbrella. First, how can we protect others, if we can’t protect ourselves? This includes vice and temptation. Frequenting the Sacraments will give us Grace and strength in the battle to master ourselves.
Are there certain books, movies, people, or situations that cause us to fall? Start removing them! Look for people who raise you to a higher level and standard to be around. Learn from them. You will find yourself drawn to be a better person! Another aspect is to take the time to examine the teachings of the Church on the defense of the innocent. Become comfortable with the morality of it and the difference between the time to turn the other cheek, and the time for just anger.
Getting into a fight because someone called you fat or dumb is not acceptable. Defending your friend from bullies would be. If you have a temper, you have no business putting yourself in a position where your temper would lead to unacceptable actions. You need to master that. Pray for strength, discernment, and prudence. These spiritual steps will prepare us for evils we face physically.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it." - Mark Twain
“But” you may say, “Why are you living in fear?” Well, what do you have to fear if you are prepared? When the challenge, whatever that may be, comes: if you are right spiritually, if you have thought of it beforehand, if you have the knowledge of how to handle it, and the physical ability to overcome it, you will have no need of fear! I can think of dozens of times I was underprepared for something, whether it was a job interview, dealing with chronic illness, or serving at the altar, where I could’ve overcome the fear with some of these steps.
Knowing you can handle any situation will give you confidence that is evident to others. It will give you the courage to lead and protect as a single man, or as the head of a family. God gave us, through Adam, dominion, and stewardship of the Earth. God made it clear that we are our brother’s keeper. And He made us Temples of the Holy Spirit. Let us care for ourselves and others as Warriors in a garden, peaceful and loving to those in our care while keeping the wolves at bay.
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