The Danger of Extremes

We live in a time of extremes. 

From politics to social positions to relationships, people entrench themselves in what they are convinced is right. We’d probably like to think holding an extreme view means we are simply principled, committed to what’s right and just. I’m guilty of this. 

But the Bible has a different take on it. 

Ecclesiastes 7: 16-18 says: “Be not just to excess, and be not overwise. Why work your own ruin? Be not wicked to excess, and be not foolish. Why should you die before your time? It is good to hold to this rule, and not to let that one go; but the one who fears God will succeed with both.”

The NIV translations puts it: “Whoever fears God will avoid all extremes.” 

The above passage sounds strange at first. “Don’t be just to excess?” But aren’t we supposed to stand up for what’s right? Yes. The Bible tells us to hate what is evil and cling to what is good (Romans 12:9). 

But maybe the writer is suggesting there’s a danger sometimes of becoming self-righteous. After all, everyone has blind spots. As Jesus said: “How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove that splinter from your eye,’ while the wooden beam is in your eye? You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:4-5).  

It is healthy to beware of extremes in our thinking and actions.

This includes relationships and dating. 

When I was single, it was easy to fall into the trap of thinking something was wrong with me if I didn’t have a girlfriend. 

I was either single or with someone. When I thought that way, I missed the reality that I was just me, and that was fine. And until I could stop being extreme and just be myself and love myself, I wasn’t ready to give myself to another. 

Rigid “either/or” thinking can even lead to depression.

But as Christians, we have an advantage when it comes to avoiding unhealthy extremes. 

The beauty and genius of Catholicism is that it may seem extreme on certain positions, but it also recognizes the tension between opposites. For example, the Church believes in justice but also mercy. It condemns sin but provides forgiveness, most practically through the Sacrament of Confession. 

G.K. Chesterton wrote: “It is true that the historic Church has at once emphasized celibacy and emphasized the family; has at once (if one may put it so) been fiercely for having children and fiercely for not having children. It has kept them side by side like two strong colors, red and white, like the red and white upon the shield of St. George. It has always had a healthy hatred of pink.”

We don’t have to blend red and white, and become pink. Or black and white, and become gray. Paradoxically, we can hold both at the same time. It’s a mystery, but it’s also a practical reality.

This is not to say you shouldn’t take a stand on moral positions or join the fight for justice. But as Catholics, it’s possible to do so with grace and wisdom. 

Avoiding extremes is not watering down who you are and what you believe in.

It is acting in wisdom and love, along with righteous anger at evil.

Jesus overturned tables and drove salesmen out of the holy temple. He hated evil. He also loved the people who committed it. He told us to do the same: 

“But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust” (Matthew 5:44-45).

Whether it’s a social justice issue, a relationship, or anything else, always hate evil. Keep growing in love. Ask God for wisdom and the ability to live like Jesus. Hold on to one and don’t let go of the other.