What to Do This Lent if Life Is Penance Enough

I went to my priest with a bit of a heavy heart.

I wanted to make this penitential season the best ever. I really wanted to fast not just because I had to, but to have something really beautiful to offer my Lord. Yet, my recent health made my fasting goals very difficult, if not impossible, to accomplish.

 “What can I do, Father?” 

He gave me sound advice, direction, comfort. But, he also said something equivalent to, “Life is enough penance for you right now.”

Of course, this was not carte blanche to skip Lent. Rather it was an invitation to use my daily life as a sacrifice pleasing to God. (Romans 12:1) 

So, what do you do this Lent when life in our socially-distanced pandemmy (sounds more fun to say it this way, right?) world already seems stressful enough? When your daily life feels like climbing a mountain, how do you turn it up a notch without losing yourself in the attempt?

Extend to yourself the same grace you would give others. 

If a friend came to you with a heavy heart, sorrow, an illness, or another challenge, how would you treat them? Would you give them a listening ear, make them tea, take them out to lunch, help them to find peace and rest? Would you speak words of comfort, put an arm around them, pray for them, offer to take them to Adoration? How would you respond? 

And yet how do you treat yourself when you have a heavy heart, sorrow, an illness, or another challenge? Do you turn to or distract yourself with the noise of the world, social media, alcohol, or some other unhealthy coping mechanism? Do you tell yourself to try harder, work more, or man-up? Do you toss your needs aside and ignore them? Do you stuff them ever deeper under the layers of time and old wounds?

What would happen if you treated your own self as a friend?

If your daily life is already an uphill battle, this Lent you could try to befriend yourself. What this might look like:

• Taking time each day to do spiritual reading and pray

• Forgiving yourself for your human failings and accepting yourself right where you are in your journey

• When you are stressed, learn to say “Jesus, I trust in you” over and over again

• Letting go of resentments, whether those resentments are harbored to another or to yourself 

• Eating nutritious food and taking time to actually enjoy it

• Putting yourself to bed at a decent time

• Learning to say “no” to things that rob you of peace and security

• Learning to pause and listen to your own breath, especially when stress starts to encroach and you feel the tensions rising

• Getting fresh air every day and taking the time to observe how it makes you feel

• Making time for non-romantic relationships and investing your time and attention in good friends

• Participating in one extra Mass a week (if Masses are open in your area. If not, take time to make a Spiritual Communion and holy hour.)

• Respecting your own boundaries 

• Asking yourself tough questions and not running from tough answers

• Journaling your thoughts and intentions

• Praying the Morning Offering and giving all your prayers, works, joys, and sufferings to Jesus consistently

• When you have a need for time, affection, or attention, asking others for what you need and not assuming that they know

• Learning to name your emotions and giving yourself permission to feel them

• Prioritizing your mental, emotional, and spiritual health the same as you do your physical 

• Finding a spiritual director

• Making time for Confession and really listening to those words of absolution. Do you believe them?

Don't miss the chance to delve deeply into this season.

Last year, as we began Lent, a friend gave me this advice, “Invite the Holy Spirit to be the master of your emotional house. Ask Him what He wants you to keep and what He wants you to let go of. And, ask Him to feel everything with you.”

It’s a deep question and an exercise in faith. It takes courage to ask the Holy Spirit this and to listen deeply. But, it is worth it. Because if life feels like a penance, let us not waste it. Let the Holy Spirit use it all. This Lent, enter deeply into that reality.