The days, months, and years that we wait for a suitable spouse can be extremely painful and discouraging. At times, we might want to give up entirely.
If only there was someone who could handle all our dating difficulties, someone wise and prudent, who knew us perfectly, who could arrange for the perfect match.
As it turns out—miraculously—there is!
Or again, if only there was some place that we could go where we’d be sure of meeting a holy spouse.
Again, there is.
That place is the nearest church with Eucharistic adoration, and that ideal matchmaker is Our Lord, who waits patiently for us under the veil of love, as St. Therese called it, in the Holy Eucharist.
If you are discouraged about finding a spouse and if you wish that you could simply hand the task over to someone else, if you feel at your wits’ end, then go to adoration. Our Lord longs to hear you pour out your troubles to Him. He knows your needs, the desires of your heart. In adoration, you have the opportunity to speak directly to God Himself, to ask Him to ease your sorrow and to guide you toward a good and holy spouse. You have access to the wisest of counselors, the most loving of friends, the most perfect of matchmakers, who takes on your burdens as His own if you will only let Him.
If you’ve never been to adoration before, here are a few suggestions:
- When you enter the chapel or church, make a sign of reverence. A genuflection on both knees with a head bow is traditional.
- Once in your pew, make an act of faith in the Real Presence. Tell Jesus you believe He’s really, truly, substantially present in the Eucharist, Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity, and that He’s ready to help you.
- Then, make an act of hope, telling Our Lord that you trust in Him, in His plan for your future—including His plan for you to find a spouse—and that you profoundly hope He will answer your prayer in the best way and at the best time. This could be a good moment to unburden your heart by telling Him about your troubles and disappointments, especially your discouragement over dating, and how much you want to be able to get married—just as you would to your closest friend. Part of the purpose of telling Jesus these things, however, is to bring yourself back around to a state of hope by placing everything in His hands with confidence.
- Be sure to make an act of love for Jesus and thank Him for being with you and listening to your troubles. It’s not a bad idea to thank Him for waiting so patiently in the Blessed Sacrament for you and other souls throughout the world to come to Him.
- Other ideas include reading from a prayer book or the Bible or praying the Rosary. It may be helpful to reread the words of the saints about adoration, such as these lines from St. Therese, “Do you realize that Jesus is there in the Blessed Sacrament expressly for you, for you alone? He burns with the desire to come into your heart!”
- Sometimes, you can simply sit in silence and the beautiful, wordless prayer of the presence of God.
You may not feel a lot different during or right after adoration, but it’s very likely that, over time, especially with repeated visits, a new peace and joy will seep into your soul like dew into the grass. Little by little, time with Our Lord satisfies and transforms the heart.
Moreover, consistent recourse to Our Lord in the Holy Eucharist asking for a spouse is as close to a guarantee of dating success as we can come.
He will surely help you.
His answer may not look exactly the way you suspect, but He will comfort and console you with His presence, and, if marriage is your vocation, He will guide you to it in His good time. The Eucharist is, after all, as St. Thomas Aquinas says, “the sacrament of love: it signifies love, it produces love.”
Finally, if you begin your pursuit of a spouse at the feet of Jesus, you will have laid an excellent foundation for a happy and holy dating relationship and marriage by rooting it in Eucharistic adoration.
Too often, we think of Jesus as far away, perhaps even indifferent to our situation.
The truth is just the opposite. In his spiritual direction, St. Claude de la Colombiere wrote, “God is touched by our sorrows and does not allow them to last for ever. He takes pleasure in trying our love for a time because he sees that trials purify us and render us worthy to receive his greater graces; but he considers our weakness, and one would even think that he suffered with us, so anxious is he to relieve us.”
God is indeed anxious to relieve us, and one of the chief ways He does so is through the Blessed Sacrament. He is closer than we think. We can speak to Him just as the Apostles did. Can anyone doubt that they went to Him with all their troubles and concerns? And that He always eased their difficulties and restored their peace? “Come to me, all you that labour, and are burdened, and I will refresh you.” (Matthew 11:28). It is no different for us. Through faith, we know that, in the Blessed Sacrament, we can come as close to Jesus as the Apostles did.
Let us treat Him, humbly, as our friend and confidant. St. Alphonsus Liguori wrote of the Eucharist, “Good friends find pleasure in one another’s company. Let us know pleasure in the company of our best Friend, a Friend who can do everything for us, a friend who loves us beyond measure. Here in the Blessed Sacrament, we can talk to him straight from the heart.”
So if we want to meet our spouse, we should go to the adoration chapel, and ask Jesus for that grace.
And, in addition to having good hope that we’ll meet our earthly spouse, we can be certain of always finding our heavenly Spouse waiting for us there in the tabernacle.
