What Should We Talk About on a First Date?

It's normal to feel the first date jitters. Nearly everyone feels a bit of nervousness when going on a first date. After all, you're about to spend time with someone who you don't know well. The best thing that you can do is to have a plan for what to discuss if the conversation becomes stale.

Here are some great first date conversation topics that you should talk about and some that you should not fall back on during your first date:

1. Talk about life experiences

Sharing some of your best memories with your date is a great way to help them get to know you. What was the most exciting thing that you've experienced? Have you gone on any pilgrimages or mission trips that moved you? What experiences do you hope to enjoy in your lifetime? When you share positive memories, it affects your whole demeanor and really shows your date your best self.

2. Talk about your hometown or your current city

This works whether you're on a date with someone who lives nearby or someone who lives farther away. This conversation topic can help you to learn what your date enjoys doing in their free time and a bit about their past as well.

For someone who lives locally, you may find that you enjoy the same places or know some of the same people, which really helps to ease some of that first-date anxiety. If your date lives farther away, you'll learn some new things about their hometown and may even come up with some ideas for that second date.

3. Avoid talking about your past relationships

As human beings, it's natural to compare your new date with someone you've dated in the past. That's okay, but make sure that your date doesn't learn more about your ex than about you.

That first date isn't a therapy session. It's your opportunity to get to know your date and decide if there's potential for a second date. Relax and offer a clean slate without bringing in emotions and baggage from your last relationship.

4. Put the spotlight on your date

Make sure that you aren't dominating the conversation by talking solely about yourself. Ask your date open ended questions. This way, they can talk about their life, family, upbringing, and anything else that they want you to know.

Talk about yourself some, as this is a very important part of allowing your date to know you better. But make sure you are giving them a chance to share as much as you are sharing.

5. Talk about your job, but not your finances

The topic of jobs is very likely to come up and that's okay. For many of us, our job is like our home away from home, simply because we spend so much time there each week.

When it comes to money, though, wait until later to discuss salary, student loan debt, and how much your house or car cost. This is a topic that's best saved for a later date when the possibility of a relationship begins to look promising.

6. Discuss your free time

While you're likely to discuss your job, that is an activity that most of us HAVE to do. Make sure to also discuss the types of things that you enjoy doing for fun as well.

Many times, we completely freeze when asked, "What do you like to do for fun?" so instead, try phrasing it in a different way, like, "What would the perfect day look like for you, assuming you had no responsibilities and money wasn't a problem?" This is where you can really dig into one's likes and dislikes, whether it be kayaking, visiting an amusement park, or binge-watching the hottest new show on Netflix.

7. Don't speak negatively about yourself

While modesty is a good trait, low-self esteem isn't going to win you any points. It's okay to admit to your date that you're feeling nervous about the date, but don't let it dominate the conversation by joking about how you're bad at dating or using it as an introduction to talk about other dates that may not have gone as planned. This also isn't the time to announce all of your flaws. That would be like a director announcing before the date of a musical that his cast is horrible. It completely snuffs any kind of interest that someone may have had.

First dates can be tough and it's okay if there's a bit of awkwardness, and your first date conversation doesn't flow seamlessly. This is a normal part of getting to know someone for the first time. But don't let that stop you from suggesting a second date. The more time you spend together, the better you'll know your date and the easier those conversations will flow.