How Having a Hobby Could Help You Meet Your Spouse

When you were a kid, didn’t it seem like there was a focus on finding your “interests”?

My parents had me in and out of my share of sports teams, music lessons, and dance classes throughout the majority of my childhood.

While some activities definitely did not jive for me (like any type of team sport—I am not the competitive type), others became my “everything” throughout my youth and teenage years. In developing these hobbies, it added creativity and passion to my life.

My biggest interest that I pursued was ballet, and though it never was something I saw myself starting a career in, I found that a part of my soul seemed to “lift” every time I set foot on the sleek, mylar floor of the dance studio.

At some point though, doing things just for fun became less of a priority….

Even if you did pursue a few hobbies in your childhood, something about the transition into adulthood changes you, or at least it did for me.

My hobbies became much less of a priority, and almost non-existent once I began my first job out of college. I was too “busy” balancing my social life with my work, and my passion for dance—or anything else—just didn’t fit into my “now.”

Here was the problem with that, though: in letting go of the activities that gave me life, I let go of a part of myself as well. It had almost turned me into a robot, where my only extracurricular activity outside of work, prayer, and seeing friends was the occasional power-nap or Netflix binge. The art of leisure was completely lost on me.

Have you lost the art of holy leisure?

If this sounds like you, then let this be your wake-up call: you need a hobby! Especially if you’re single and looking to meet your spouse, cultivating your hobbies can help you do just that.

Here are some reasons why giving yourself regular, holy leisure in the form of hobbies could lead to your “I do.”

1. Hobbies expand your social network

Let’s start with the obvious: participating in a regular activity, outside of work and your typical social scene, can help you meet new people.

Adult sports leagues, book clubs, and classes at your local rec center are all excellent examples of places where other single people might be found. Am I saying that your future spouse might be the person that you spiked a volleyball at during that young adult sports league game, nearly knocking their teeth out? Maybe. It could make for an interesting story to tell to your grandkids one day.

Even if that’s not the case, putting yourself in different social groups is a great way to broaden your relationships, and you never know where—or to whom—those might lead you.

2. Regularly doing something you enjoy makes you more attractive

When you pick up that hobby that you used to love as a child (think: model airplanes) or begin a new one altogether, it has the potential to be life-giving. Holy leisure fills us up in a way that no amount of caffeine can.

It helps us find peace and a sense of balance in our lives. It would make sense then that balanced, joyful person is usually more attractive.

I’m not talking about a physical attraction per se (though many hobbies have the added benefit of helping you stay physically fit), but more of an attractive personality. Most people want to date someone who is at peace with themselves...someone who knows how to balance their life well. That is attractive for many reasons, but particularly for the vocation of marriage, it is especially important to find—and to be—someone who lives and orders their life well.

3. You’ll often find “the one” when you stop looking

We’ve probably all been there: you’re so focused on finding someone to date and discern marriage with that it’s often all you can think about in your spare time. But you may have heard of the paradox that you find what you’re looking for when you stop looking so hard.

Ordering your life with holy leisure helps take some of your focus off the dating scene and puts it back on yourself—in a healthy way—giving you a chance to grow as a son or daughter of God. When that happens, God might just see it as the right time to bring that special someone into your life.

Ready to make your life more enjoyable? Start by going back to your childhood.

If this is convicting you to make more time for leisure in your life, what are you waiting for?

Think back to your childhood and the pastimes you used to love. Or how about that one thing you’ve always secretly wished you’d mastered (for me, rock-climbing).

Pick one activity to start with, and find an hour or two in your week to devote to it. The time can be broken up into 20-minute increments daily (this is perfect for you book-lovers or knitters), or used all at once on a weekly pottery class or something. However you divide it up, you (and maybe your future spouse) will be thankful for the peace and transformation it’ll bring to your life!