5 Things Every Engaged Couple Should Do

Engagement can be a strange time.

A couple can feel that they are awkwardly in between vocations, and it isn’t always clear what the next step is. A strong desire to be married, anxiety about future responsibilities, and opinions from friends and family only add to the confusion. That being said, when it is handled well, engagement can be a very happy and fruitful stage.

Looking back on my own engagement, I have not forgotten the challenges that we faced, but I can also see how beneficial that stage was for my fiancée and me. Here are five tips to help engaged couples make the most of this unique time! 

1. Don’t rush it!

There is a lot to get done between getting engaged and getting married. There is a lot to look forward to as well! Couples have to announce their engagement, celebrate with friends and family, set a date, make financial plans, and then think about the details of the wedding and reception. This can lead them to forget about the most important thing: spiritually preparing to receive the sacrament. Couples should take their time with engagement and make sure that they’re really prepared before taking the next big step. 

This comes more naturally to some couples than it does to others. My fiancée and I were super eager to get married, and we wanted to have the wedding as soon as possible. This was a good instinct, but we ran the risk of seeing engagement as an obstacle instead of a time for fruitful preparation. Some wise friends and family helped us to take a breath and just focus on the moment. 

2. Don’t wait too long...

Rushing the wedding isn’t the only danger. Some couples wait too long. Marriage is a beautiful gift that God offers to engaged couples, and they shouldn’t delay too long in accepting his generosity. The Devil might try to trick holy couples by filling their heads with all sorts of doubts and fears about the future. The Sacrament of Matrimony comes with powerful graces that help married people live like saints. Once you find each other, and you go through the Church’s standard preparation, you should not delay your wedding much longer without good reason. 

This one came much more naturally to my fiancée and me than tip #1. We felt so powerfully that God wanted us to be married, and we were eager to say “yes” to him and to one another. This sort of natural excitement is healthy and fitting. Why delay in giving yourself to the person you love? Once you know, you know. Don’t be scared.  

3. Talk about EVERYTHING!

Marrying someone is a big deal! Spouses are responsible for keeping one another on a path of holiness. This is a big job, and it lasts a lifetime. One of the best ways engaged couples can prepare for this huge responsibility is by getting to know one another thoroughly. They should discuss things that are happy, sad, important, embarrassing, awkward, and concerning. Engagement is a time when the bond of trust between two people is greatly strengthened by their new commitment. This enables it to be a time of openness and honesty as well. 

I remember in the months leading up to my marriage, my fiancée and I talked about many things just to see if we were on the same page. We are still learning new things about each other today, and engagement was the perfect time to discuss more personal and difficult things. If there is something you’ve been holding back from the person you intend to marry, engagement is the right time to speak up. Trust that your fiancée will understand what you have to say, and give him/her the gift of honesty. 

4. Spend a lot of time with family.

When two people get married, they form a new family. Spouses ought to be open to life, and that means children will likely not be far down the road. Engaged couples should spend a lot of time with their parents and siblings if they can. Parents can offer experienced advice, and the home environment will inspire and strengthen engaged couples as they prepare to have families of their own. 

My wife and I both come from families of 10. That makes time with family pretty hectic and fun! We never regret visiting with our parents and our many siblings. We were especially careful to spend as much time with them as possible while we were engaged. This practice is good for everybody. Your families will appreciate the gesture, and they will enjoy spending time with your future spouse. You will have fun bringing all these people you love together into one place, and you will feel strengthened by the comforting presence of family. 

5. Pray, pray, pray!

This is the most important piece of advice. Marriage is a huge step, and engaged couples will need God to find peace as they prepare for it. Praying together as a couple will also help a man and woman prepare for the upcoming time when their spiritual lives will be more intimately united. Whenever engaged couples are stressed, fearful, or just downright exhausted, they can always find solitude and peace by praying together before God. 

This is the thing I am most glad to have done during my engagement. My fiancée and I would do our best to seize little moments to pray. Even when we were not together, we would frequently remind each other to start and end each day with prayer. Your job in life is to build a relationship with God, and it is beautiful how God also builds your relationship with the people you pray with. Setting aside a little time for a rosary or some spiritual reading with your fiancée will put you on the right path to the altar.