What to Do When God Leads You into a Valley

I know sometimes Christian music gets a bad rap, but there's a song that's been circulating on Christian radio recently that has really struck a chord in my heart. It's called "Hills and Valleys," by Tauren Wells. The artist sings about how God is the "God of the hills and valleys"—He's there in the highs and the lows of life. My favorite words of the chorus are as follows:

On the mountains, I will bow my life

To the one who set me there

In the valley, I will lift my eyes to the one who sees me there

It reminds me of Psalm 23: "Even when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff comfort me.”

So why are these "hills and valleys" speaking to me lately? Well, because at this point in my life, I am most definitely in a valley. For the past nine months—and counting—God, in His goodness, has brought my family into a place of loss and unknown.

Have you ever felt like you've been hit with loss after loss?

At the brink of springtime last year, my husband and I unexpectedly lost our jobs.

He and I had first met as Catholic missionaries, and in the six years that followed, we dated, got engaged, married, had two babies, and made two major moves as a family. Life was a sweet whirlwind of God's grace and guidance. When it all finally ended, we found ourselves trying to catch our breath and figure out where to go next.

In the summer, we made the decision to move out of our two-bedroom rental house in Denver and move in with my parents until we had more of a plan for our lives. The week before we moved out of our house, I felt compelled to take a pregnancy test, due to a slight inkling that had been nagging at me, and it confirmed that God had blessed us with baby #3. Admittedly, I wondered at God's seemingly odd timing, but figured it meant that good things were coming soon for us.

A week later, as we were settling into my parents’ home and doing the final touches of cleaning out our rental, I began miscarrying our sweet baby. Through the pain of losing our baby, I also lost some of the hope I had gained at the news of conception, the hope that God was soon going to give us a light in this dark unknown. But as we stepped into fall, this valley we'd been walking in soon became much more vast when we realized the scope of the loss we'd endured in just a few months' time: the loss of our jobs, the loss of our home, and the loss of our child.

We are still firmly in the valley. Why? And now what?

Presently, in the midst of winter, not much has changed with our situation; we are still in our valley of loss and unknown. Though I haven't let go of my hope that God has a plan for us, I do wish He could move the clouds out of the way so that we can see the mountains on the other side, if only just for a minute.

That's the thing about valleys—they are never just a vast landscape that has no ending. A valley is only such because it is surrounded by mountains. Faith and hope tell me that there's a mountain on the other side, waiting for us. God wouldn't put it in scripture so often if it weren't true. But what must we to do until then?

If you find yourself stuck in a valley right now—whether it be from a bad breakup, perpetual singlehood, a drastic change in plans—here is some advice, from someone who is there, too:

1. Stop asking “why.”

God is God and we are not. We can never fully understand the plans He has for us while we are still on this side of Heaven. His timing and His reasonings belong to Him, and if we waste energy trying to figure out all the reasons why our life is the way it is, we will just end up angry and tired. Surrender your urge to question God. For help on that, check out this book.

2. Recognize God’s presence with you.

I am closer to God now, in this valley, than I have been in a very long time. He appears to be more present to us in the lows of life because that is where He suffered and died for our redemption. I recently read this thought-provoking allegory which helped me understand this truth more clearly. The crosses we are given in life are invitations to unite ourselves more fully to His passion.

3. Look for the opportunities.

After one of my hardest breakups in college, God led me into a valley of opportunity that changed the course of my life. It is so easy to wish this stage of your life away, or worse, to go through it in a state of despair. If we maintain our hope that God has put us in this valley for a purpose, we will gain more than we ever expected. Plus, valleys truly can be beautiful...just look at the picture at the top of this post! Perhaps God wants you to look around and enjoy the view for awhile.

May God bless you and keep you, fellow wanderer.