You Need More Single Friends

There I was, sitting alone during Mass and watching all the families pile into the pews. Normally, I’d admire the newest additions to said families and smile at the cute little chubby faces that periodically poke up and gleefully smile at the strangers sitting nearest to them. But on this particular morning it just made me sad.

Later that same day while visiting with family, my current relationship status (or lack thereof) became the topic of conversation. And again, all I felt was sadness mixed in with a bit of embarrassment.

Thinking it would be best to be productive rather than to sulk my way through the rest of the weekend, I decided to visit my classroom and prepare for the upcoming school week. I no sooner walked into my Alice in Wonderland themed classroom and started up my computer when the janitor, a very kind and helpful man, made his way into my room to say good afternoon.

I inquired after his family, and instead of his usual questions asking after my own family, he asked about my husband. Normally, all I have to say is “I don’t have a husband,” or “I’m single.” However, this was apparently not a good enough answer for him, so he followed up with a “Why not?” I fumbled uncomfortably through a reply, and immediately felt that same sadness that had been lurking in the back of my mind jump to the forefront. So much for enjoying an afternoon organizing my classroom library.

Does this all sound familiar to you?

Now, all I wanted to do was drown my sorrows in a large bowl of spaghetti and parmesan cheese (trust me, it’s way better than ice-cream).

Fortunately for me, a good friend of mine called that night and after a good cry on the phone, I felt enormously grateful to have such a wonderful and compassionate person in my life. The sadness didn’t exactly go away, but speaking to someone who was in the exact same boat as me was extremely cathartic. She reminded me that God loves me far more than any other person possibly could and that during those times of loneliness, I should lay my suffering at the feet of Jesus.

What makes a faithful friend?

It is so important to have good Christian friends, people who are on the same spiritual journey as ourselves and who are striving for the same ultimate goal—Heaven.

Our lives can be difficult at times and feeling alone can only hinder our ability to keep moving forward. Feeling the intense sting of single-hood is normal. It comes up for me more often than it used to, but that doesn’t mean that I need to wallow in it. It is precisely during these times that we should be reaching out to our friends, those people who’ve encountered Christ in their own lives and can be an inspiration to us, as well as a light reflecting God’s encouragement and love.

I count myself truly blessed to have friends such as these. One friend in particular comes to mind—my friend mentioned above.  She, like me, is single and is prayerfully awaiting her future spouse. Her spirituality and personal relationship with Christ all model for me the type of woman that I’m striving to be.

There have been times that I’ve been so engrossed in battling my way through life’s many challenges that I’ve nearly lost my focus on the ultimate goal.  My friend has been the one to immediately point to the cross and say, “Look there. That’s what you need to be focused on. Live your life for Him.” For those times that I’ve been weak, she has helped and strengthened me.

A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter—from loneliness, unhappiness, and discontentment.

The Bible tells us of the importance of friendship and how truly blessed we are to have good, holy friends.

“A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure. A faithful friend is beyond price, no sum can balance his worth.” Sirach 6:14-15

If we are fortunate enough to have these treasures in our lives, then we should cherish and foster those relationships. We should also strive to be the same kind of shelter for our friends that they have been for us during our hours of darkness.

Call your friends if they live far away. Check in to see how they’re doing and ask them how you can pray for them. Offer Masses for your friends. Be that person that brings Christ’s presence into their lives. If they are single like you, then I can guarantee that there will be times that they need to be reminded that they are loved.

Despite not having a spouse, you aren't on life's path alone!

As single people, it can feel like we’re all alone on our path. We look around ourselves and immediately notice all the couples traversing this life hand in hand and we think how much better our own journey would be if we just had that one special partner in our lives. And let’s be honest, if we’re on CatholicMatch, it means that we are sick and tired of walking this road alone. But are we truly alone? Has God really left us completely isolated? The answer is no.

I can’t speak for anyone else’s social life, but in my own I can see God’s hand in many chance encounters with people who later became very close friends. God has weaved other people’s paths into my own, giving me the opportunity to make some truly incredible friendships. Perhaps this is something we all need to reflect on from time to time.

Am I truly alone? Who has God brought into my life that has brought me closer to Christ? Have I, in turn, brought this person closer to Christ? Rather than focusing on what we do not have at the moment, it might benefit each of us to focus on what we do have—friends with rock solid foundations in the church and hearts yearning for an intimate relationship with Our Creator.