Why Coffee Is The Perfect First Date!

So I’ve been doing social isolation lately, as many of you probably have.

I white-knuckled it through the stuff I expected to miss, like family holidays. But I found myself unexpectedly missing . . . coffee dates. I am such a stereotypical millennial, right?! There’s just something awesome about cozy, quiet cafes. Coincidentally, all my first dates were in coffee shops, too.

Some people might think, wow, everybody does coffee dates, how unoriginal! But let’s take a step back to reflect. Why has coffee become the generic first date? Why do singles continue to frequent dim cafes complete with hipster music in the background?

Specifically, there are four things coffee dates offer that make a perfect first date:

1. Casualness: Few people want to commit to a full-on meal when meeting someone for the first time. The convenience and simplicity of a hot drink keeps things easy and light! The casual setting of the coffee shop helps prevent any premature over-investment—it’s just coffee, after all. Plus, you’re in a public place and have a simple reason to leave if things aren’t going well: you can just finish your mug and say goodbye.

2. Appropriate time commitment: We all know a first date should be kept to an hour or two. Coffee shops are great for this, since they’re literally designed for work breaks and quick bites. They don’t usually stay open until midnight, either, which helps discourage a first date turning into a marathon. First meet-ups are just a get-to-know-you, and should be timed accordingly. Coffee is a perfect short commitment, and you can always hang out a little longer if things are going well.

3. Conversational: Yep, the cafe setting is typically designed for one-on-one conversations, which is usually the point of first dates. But another “conversational” aspect is the easy icebreaker! “What kind of coffee do you like?” or a flirty “Oh, so you’re a tea person . . . I don’t know if I can trust you!” can go a long way in soothing dating nerves. Coffee shops do you and your date a favor by tossing this conversational softball to you right when you walk in.

4. Easy atmosphere: Pretty much everybody has been to coffee shops and knows they are comfortable places. Most have comfy chairs, lamplit corners, and sequestered tables set up for privacy in an otherwise public place. Many have art on the walls, games in the corner, or little trivia cards on the tables. Some even have live music. You are surrounded by comfort and inviting spaces; what better way to start off a date?

Not convinced? Think about some of your most awkward dates.

Sometimes, knowing what DOESN’T make a good first date helps illustrate why coffee dates are a really good first date choice.

For instance, an active date like paintballing isn’t the best plan, unless you’re both really into sports. (Shooting each other doesn’t help with first time conversation!) Another typical pitfall is ridiculously long time commitments—so save the three-day road trip for after your wedding. Seeing a movie is classic, but be careful: you might not have much time to talk. Taking your date as a plus one to a black tie wedding might be too formal and prompt over-investment.

See what I mean? Coffee dates are hard to beat!

But sometimes you just want to mix it up a bit. What else can we do for a first date that offers those same four benefits, plus some variety in setting?

If you’re looking for more casual, conversational, easy, and short activities, consider the following:

• Think outdoors. Perhaps a walk in the park to feed the ducks? Literally. Old people do this for a reason! It’s casual, fun, and there’s always a little entertainment from your feathered friends. Maybe there’s a pretty historical street in your town to wander, or a public lookout on a hill.

• Local sightseeing. My town has its name written in stone on the side of a bluff. One town over has a giant rock outcrop by the Mississippi River. Many towns have a unique local sight like these, such as the biggest wooden nickel in the world (only in Iowa, folks.) Local attractions are casual places and give you a conversational softball to get things rolling!

• History and art. Seeing a museum or gallery provides good conversation topics and a nice time limit—you can say goodbye when you finish walking the galleries. If you don’t think you have a museum nearby, take to the internet and do a little digging. Odds are, there’s a small one somewhere close that could make a good date setting.

• Snack shacks. Ice cream parlors, juice bars, and little bakeries are the food equivalent of the coffee shop. It’s not a full on meal, and a snack provides just enough activity to keep any nerves at bay. And hey, who doesn’t love ice cream?

That’s why coffee dates are the best first dates. Well, at least in my opinion—it could be the social isolation talking. Either way, if you apply these principles to your first date plans, you’ll have a great variety of successful date plans at your fingertips!