What You Need to Know About Dating During Your College Years
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There are some major pros and some major cons when it comes to dating in college...
I’ve heard both opinions: College is the time to date a bunch of different people VS. Don’t date in college, keep yourself open!
Like most things, the answer lies in the middle. Dating can be an exciting and fun experience, especially when you are in college, but you have to keep certain boundaries in mind because of your circumstances. Here are some pros and cons of dating in college as well as some tips you can use if you decide to date.
First, the pros:
Opportunities for Growth
Dating can be a learning experience and can teach you about yourself and what you want in a relationship. You can learn to communicate better, compromise, and build trust with your partner. Dating in college lets you challenge yourself and practice placing someone else’s wants and needs before your own.
Fun and Excitement
Simply put, dating is fun. It’s fun to meet new people and explore common interests. It’s fun to go on dates and see new things with another person. Don’t be afraid to embrace the fun parts of dating, like the nervous excitement of going to coffee with someone new. Going on dates isn’t marriage although romantic relationships should always be ordered towards that end. In the beginning, when you and your partner discern if you want to commit to a relationship with another, it should be low-pressure and fun!
Social Skills
Dating in college can help improve your social skills and ability to interact with the opposite sex. It can teach you how to be more confident and comfortable in social situations, which is important for your life after college. If you can survive facing rejection in dating, you can overcome rejection and risk in other facets of your life, as well! Job interviews will be a breeze compared to asking someone out.
Now, the cons:
Time Management
College can be a busy time with classes, studying, and extracurricular activities. Adding a relationship into the mix can be difficult and time-consuming. Sometimes you can become so over-focused on dating that you shirk the very reasons why you are in college in the first place.
Distractions
Dating can also distract you from finding and cultivating platonic relationships. All relationships require time and attention, even platonic ones. Dating distracts you from your friends, so it’s important to find a balance between dating and hanging out with friends.
Heartbreak
Dating can be unpredictable and sometimes it doesn’t work out. It can be difficult to deal with heartbreak and the emotional toll it can take. If you have a hard time with numbers one and two on this list, the heartbreak will hit even harder. You will need friends around you for support, and the breakup will likely distract you from your classes. Heartbreak can be avoided by not jumping deep into new relationships too quickly.
Pressure
There can be pressure to be in a relationship in college, whether it’s from peers or social expectations. Some college students feel pressured to get married to the first person they date. Other people feel pressured to sleep together or live together before marriage. If this is a pitfall in your college, avoid this pressure by keeping your relationship under wraps and between you, your partner, and close, trustworthy friends.
Now, if you decide that you would like to date while you are at college, here are a few helpful tips to keep in mind.
Set Boundaries
It’s important to set boundaries in any relationship, especially when you are in college. Be clear about your expectations and communicate openly with your partner. If the relationship is getting too serious and you’re not ready, communicate that. Most relationship issues can be solved with open communication.
Prioritize
Make sure to prioritize your studies and other commitments before your relationship. Time management and avoiding conflicts are difficult skills to master. Try blocking out hours during the day to work on your studies. Guard that time and don’t give in to the temptation to spend too much time on dates. Focus on studying during the day and save the evenings for friends and dates.
Be Open and Honest
It’s important to be open and honest with your partner about your feelings and expectations. This will help build trust and create a strong foundation for your relationship. It’s also important to be honest with yourself. It’s easy to trick yourself into thinking something is fine when it is actually hurtful or a red flag. Talk things through with your close friends and always take your feelings to prayer.
Stay Safe
Always prioritize your safety and well-being in any relationship. Make sure to avoid any situations that could put you in danger, like hanging out alone with someone you don’t know or drinking too much with your date.
Dating in college can be a positive and enjoyable experience, but it’s important to weigh the pros and cons before making a decision.
In short, remember this about dating during your college years:
Set boundaries, prioritize your studies, communicate openly with your partner, and avoid peer pressure. It is possible to have a great college dating experience, and by keeping these things in mind, you definitely will.
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