How To Trust God in the Waiting
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I have a wonderful spiritual director.
She was a professor I had several times in graduate school. Since those days, we have stayed in contact and continues to be a good sounding board for me in different areas of life. She challenges me spiritually but always speaks truth and affirmation into my life, especially when I need it most.
Recently we met in her office, drinking mugs of tea while sitting in cozy armchairs surrounded by artwork on the walls and piles of books on the bookshelves.
I shared what the Lord has been up to in my life, what was going on in my prayer life, the books I was using for spiritual reading, and how I was doing after a fairly recent break-up. I shared how while I had perfect peace in the decision to end that relationship, it still felt scary and a little overwhelming to trust God in the waiting. While there was peace, I still felt a little confused as to where my life had me in the present moment.
This wise, bold woman of God smiled and leaned in, saying, “Patty, let me share with you a piece of advice a Jesuit spiritual director shared with me while I was single.”
He said, “Pat, you have everything you already need to live a beautiful and meaningful life. Be open and just show up to live your life.”
Be open.
Just show up.
Live your life.
[click_to_tweet tweet="Be open. Just show up. Live your life." quote="Be open. Just show up. Live your life."]
I cannot tell you how much that advice she shared with me resonated in my heart and soul.
Since our direction appointment almost a month ago, I have kept those words on repeat. There is a strange comfort and peace in repeatedly coming back to them.
I am a divorced, annulled young woman who is currently single.
Nothing in my life has gone as I imagined it growing up. I know I am called to the vocation of marriage and the desires of my heart are for marriage and family. However, right now as life stands, those things are not a part of my story.
That feels frustrating, scary, and sometimes even unfair. To be perfectly honest, it can be really hard to trust God in the waiting. How does one do that well, to trust God in the waiting?
Don't wait to live your life.
Just be open and show up to live your life! That priest who gave my director advice so many years ago was right! We actually do have everything we need for a beautiful, meaningful life…even if that means right now we do not have those deepest desires of our heart. Do not wait to live your life until you have everything you hope for, start living it right now!
Trust God with the dreams and desires of your heart, and be open to what life brings your way. My spiritual director reminds me sometimes that she actually met her husband in a funeral home at the wake of her own father. Show up to live your one life right now…even if it is not exactly the way you want it. Just be open, show up…and keep showing up.
[click_to_tweet tweet="Do not wait to live your life until you have everything you hope for, start living it right now!" quote="Do not wait to live your life until you have everything you hope for, start living it right now!"]
Pray for the desire to trust Jesus more.
When I needed to learn how to forgive my former husband, I had little to no desire to forgive him. Thankfully, I realized I could never forgive him on my own will or hard work. I needed grace from Jesus and the desire to do so. A great way to pray if you do not have the desire for something is asking Jesus to give you the desire for it.
I am praying for the desire to trust Jesus more than I ever have before, which unfortunately has not been very much. I am asking Jesus to trust Him with the deep desires of my heart. I am asking Jesus to give me the desire to entrust my future to Him, all that I cannot yet see or understand. I am asking for desire to believe the promises of God and that there is perfect plan for my life.
I certainly do not have it perfectly figured out.
Most of my life experience has looked like telling the Lord “how I want things to go" or just throwing up a prayer of frustration asking Jesus to make a way sooner rather than later.
I have a ways to go in the trust department with Jesus. Nevertheless, I know asking Him to give me a desire to trust Him more is a prayer Jesus will answer. Why? Because it is His will that we all trust Him more with every area of our lives: future, job, finances, sexuality, relationships, hopes, dreams, and desires. He wants us to trust Him with everything.
I am learning to do that. If you are a person trying to follow Jesus with your whole heart, then you are probably learning right along with me too.
Do you struggle with trusting God in a season of waiting in your own story? What is the hardest part of that for you?
What helps you grow in a deeper trust with the Lord?
[click_to_tweet tweet="He wants us to trust Him with everything." quote="He wants us to trust Him with everything."]
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