Do You Feel Like You've Missed Your Vocation?
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At thirty-five years old I find myself in a season of prolonged singleness.
I have read many books on relationships and quite a few on surviving (and thriving) during our single years. One book, in particular, comes to mind as the author addressed a fear that I have heard women express who also find themselves single well into their thirties and beyond—and that is the fear of the missed vocation. What an awful thought!
The author was of the opinion that it is very likely that there are many women who have missed their vocations due to their own mistakes or due to the fallen world in which we live. After bringing this dilemma to the Lord in prayer, I have come to a very different conclusion than the author.
Two words: Divine Mercy.
Fearing that either because of past mistakes or through no fault of our own, that we have missed our vocation to marriage is a lie that the enemy uses to rob us of our hope for the future. It completely disregards the fact that the Lord is boundless merciful. There is a reflection in St. Faustina’s diary, Divine Mercy in My Soul, where Jesus tells her that He doesn’t want her to attend a trip that she was supposed to be go on with a fellow nun.
St. Faustina realizes that there is nothing that she can do to cancel this trip and she says as much to our Lord. “Jesus, everything is ready for us to leave tomorrow morning; what am I to do now? You can find a way out. Arrange things in such a way that Your will may be done.” St. Faustina then gives Jesus a parting glance before going to bed, trusting that He would handle the situation. The next day, a freak storm passes through the town and St. Faustina is able to stay at the convent just as Jesus wanted.
There are two things that strike me in this passage. The first is that St. Faustina didn’t tell Jesus no, she told Him to handle it. The second is her faith. How many of us can say that we have that level of trust in our Lord?
When it comes to our vocations and finding our spouses, we really have very little control.
Yes, we should be proactive by making ourselves available and open to meeting people. But when it comes down to it, we ultimately are not the ones in control over when, where, how, or even if we will meet someone. All of those details are in God’s hands. So, worrying about a missed vocation is really an overestimation of how much control we truly have. What we should do instead is ask for the Lord’s guidance, cooperate with Him, and then continue to be active and social. God, if it is His will, will “arrange things in such a way that [His] will may be done.”
Remember, God is merciful. He already knows all the mistakes we are bound to make. He knows exactly what kind of world and culture we live in. He also knows of any tragedies that may be in our futures. Part of trusting Him with our vocations is recognizing that even if tragedy were to strike, He can bring great blessings out of the wreckage.
The Lord tells us exactly what kind of plans He has for us in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” It is really the next three verses, though, that we need to read in order to take this verse in context. “You will call upon me and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes…” (Jeremiah 29:12-14).
Notice that God says that if we pray to Him, He will hear us.
If we look for Him, we will find Him. He also says that He will “restore” our fortunes. That implies that we must have lost them at some point, and indeed if you read the Old Testament, the Israelites were constantly squandering and losing their blessings.
Yet God never abandoned them and always was ready to forgive them of their transgressions.
God does the same for us. Trust that He can turn your life around. Trust that He knows the desires of your heart. Trust that He still has good plans for you despite your mistakes and that He can restore anything that you have lost.
Do not fret over a missed vocation. The Lord loves each of us far too much to let something as important as our calling in life pass us by if we are praying and searching for Him and His will for our lives.
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