Three Ways to Grow Your Spiritual Life as a Couple

What does it mean to have a spirituality together as a couple, and why would you want it?

More than merely praying together, it means putting God at the center of your relationship. By doing so, you will deepen your relationship by getting to know the Author of your love. Seeking Truth, Beauty, and Goodness in God’s creation together as a couple can bring God into your relationship in a rich way, and can be a lot of fun, too!

Seek truth together.

Catholic spiritual tradition has always pointed to three attributes of God that lead us to Him. The first is Truth. Human beings are created to receive the truth. That’s why we’re so curious. That’s why we pursue hobbies and interests that teach us about the world.

Discovering, exploring, and learning as a couple is a great way to spend time together and to get to know each other. Even if you’re not the scholarly type, you might be surprised at how much fun it can be to seek truth together. The truth you’re exploring together comes from God and part of His infinite wisdom. Recognizing God in the knowledge you explore can help to center your relationship on Him.

Participating more directly in God’s wisdom draws you into deeper intimacy with Him. Why not study the Faith as a couple? Read the Bible together and talk about it. There are some great study guides available that you can use with no need to join a group study if you don’t want to. Have a “movie night” together but watch a video from a good Catholic teacher. 

Finally, we participate in the truth that comes from God by sharing it with others. For most couples, this may simply mean being open to talking about God and the truth that comes from Him in casual conversation with others. But you might also explore opportunities to teach in more formal settings. Could you volunteer to teach religious education together? Could you lead a Bible study or faith study?

Married couples may have opportunities to share in marriage preparation programs, to be marriage mentors, or to teach Natural Family Planning. Whether it’s in a formal or informal capacity, sharing the truth with others allows you as a couple to participate in God’s wisdom, embedding Him more deeply into your relationship and into your lives. 

Dedicate your relationship to goodness.

The second attribute of God is goodness. God wants us to enjoy the goods He put in Creation. Spiritual discipline calls us to do so with self-control over our desires for those goods. When we receive them with the right disposition, we become more aware of God’s providential love for us. This is the reason we pray grace before meals. Gratitude connects the good things you enjoy in life with God’s love for you.

Make gratitude a habit in your relationship. Give thanks to God for His blessings every day. The next time you enjoy a delicious romantic meal together, take some time to think, “This is how much God loves us,” and thank Him for His love.

Most people don’t realize it, but the moral life is also an expression of God’s love. Morality is God’s instruction to live a fully human life that seeks the fullest good that God wants for us. The moral life is also about participating in God’s goodness as free human persons. Ultimately, the moral life leads us to love God with our whole hearts, minds, and strength. We can then participate in God’s goodness when we love others with the love of God. 

Explore beauty together.

Beauty is the third attribute of God that can lead us to Him. The beauty we see in the world exists because God is order. Many couples find joy in discovering the beauty of Creation together. When your relationship is centered on God, you can find even greater beauty as Creation leads you to the Creator.

Likewise, the beauty in the fine arts can also lead us to God. That’s why beautiful music, art, and literature can stir the soul even when it’s not overtly religious. Catholic tradition is based on the power of beautiful things to lead us to the beauty of God. That’s why we create grand, beautiful church buildings with beautiful art and then perform beautiful liturgies in them. That’s why we use candles, incense, and beautiful music. It’s all to draw our hearts and minds to God. Exploring beauty in Catholic art and liturgy together can likewise draw your relationship to God. 

Sharing beauty with others might seem like something that requires specific talents. Obviously, if one or both of you have talents in art, music, or poetry, you could use them to share God’s beauty with others. But what if you’re not so talented? It’s OK! You can still participate in God’s beauty. For example, many art studios will hold a painting event for non-artists, showing you some of the basics. You’d be surprised at what you might be able to create in a fun evening together. 

In Philippians 4:8, Saint Paul tells us, “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (RSV). Filling your life with the true, the good, and the beautiful can help you build a strong, well-rounded, God-centered relationship.