Pearl Of Great Price: This Is Why Long Distance Shouldn’t Deter You

My husband calls me his “pearl of great price.” Remember the parable in Matthew chapter 13, about the merchant who discovers a pearl of great price? He goes and sells everything he has to buy the pearl because it is worth more than anything else. (The next parable is a similar story of the man who discovers a treasure in a field and sells everything he has to buy the land. Similar idea!) Obviously, this parable illustrates the importance of salvation, and how nothing can compare to the treasure Christ offers us on the cross.

It’s also a fantastic analogy for long-distance romance.

My husband calls me his pearl of great price because he, quite literally, left everything behind him to have me. You see, he lived half a nation away from me when we met on CatholicMatch. We talked for a while, and, before we traded phone numbers, I cautioned him that because he was 700 miles away, anything more than pen pals probably wouldn’t work out. (How I underestimated him!) Before long, Christopher made a road trip to meet me, and, voila, we started dating. We got more and more serious, and, after a few months, had a monumental decision in front of us. He decided to leave behind his entire life–job, school, family, hometown, friends, everything–to move far away and marry me. And I am his pearl of great price because, as he says, I am worth so much more than everything he had.

Isn’t that a great illustration of the pearl story? My now-husband understood the immeasurable value of a good Catholic spouse and was willing to “sell all he had” for one. He knew that well before he met me! If he didn’t, we probably wouldn’t have started dating after all, and never gotten to the marriage we have today. He valued a future spouse enough to pour time, money, and effort into simply meeting someone far away. Not because he knew this would turn into his future vocation, but because it could possibly be so. He wouldn’t have known unless he tried. (Dozens, even hundreds, of CatholicMatch Success Stories state the same thing!)

Do you know the value of a good spouse?

Would you sell everything you have when you find one, so you can have them instead? Love and marriage always take sacrifice. Are you willing to endure the trials of long-distance dating for the one you love? Sometimes, you have to sacrifice everything you know and everything you have in order to pursue the right person.

I’m not asking you to drop everything in your life right now just because someone an ocean away messaged you online. I recommend that you reflect on your mindset, your openness to sacrificing for a good spouse. How far would you go for one?

Try asking yourself this.

How far have you traveled for a fantastic vacation? Or on a trip for work or school? Have you crossed the country to attend that football game, this concert, or go on that epic hike? Maybe even a religious pilgrimage? You probably have traveled somewhere to pursue something you value. If you’re willing to travel for any of those things, shouldn’t you be willing to travel at least that far for a potential spouse? Like my husband, you won’t know right off the bat if this person is your person. But there’s only one way to determine this: go the distance and find out. You are willing to travel for material things, for travel experience, or for a dream vacation. These are good things! And a far, far better thing is a solid Catholic marriage. How far are you willing to travel in pursuit of it?

A lot of things can seem more important than chasing a distant date who might not even turn into true love anyway.

And that’s okay. I’m not saying you should fly willy-nilly across the globe the first week you meet anyone online–common sense factors into this! But don’t underestimate a good Catholic connection just because you don’t know YET. It’s good to build a great life right where you are. You might be really attached to your job, your hometown, or your social circle. You might be close with your family and can’t ever imagine leaving them. It might be any number of things keeping you rooted to the spot. You don’t have to leave these things behind you when you’re dating.

But would you sacrifice a good spouse to keep these things instead? Sometimes you can’t have both. Sometimes you can. Love stories are different for everyone. So, if the right person comes along, are you open to leaving it all if they need you to? After all, a good spouse should be worth more to you than anything else, and you know this. Now you need to seriously consider what this could look like in your life. Would you be willing to give up your job for them? How about your house? Your hometown? Would you leave your friends and family in order to pursue a marriage? These are the questions you should be asking yourself.

Don’t be afraid to talk to people far away, and don't disregard someone just because of the distance between you.

It will take more time, and it will be difficult, just like everything else in the dating world. And some relationships might turn into dead ends. That’s okay. Don’t write off long-distance because one date didn’t turn into marriage. It’s all part of the sacrifice in pursuing your vocation. You’re chasing a pearl of great price, after all. It doesn’t come free.

Are you willing to sell all you have for your future spouse? God might ask you to. And it will be so, so worth it.